DON'T MAKE ME COME IN HERE!

[The Peepmaster]

Oh dear Roger you walked right into that one.
I think you should write out I am a idiot 100 times.

You'd make a great stooge, Peter.

[Fyodor]

St Johnstone are Perth girlies, despite still being in the Scottish Cup Quarter Finals, where they meet St Mirren, who knocked out Dundee United at Tannadice in the last round, courtesy of a grotesquely offside counter.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Shame United didn't manage to score any grotesque goals, Fydo. 

[Fyodor]

I'll think of a witty riposte. Don't you worry about that, I'll think of something, otter face!

[The Peepmaster]

I'll think of something, otter face!

Otters aren't ugly!

[Mince]

Not to other otters, true, but ...

[The Peepmaster]

Not to other otters, true, but ...

Funny, I picture you as a weasel.  :

[Mince]

What a coincidence. I feel the same way about you, except that in your case the weasel would have to have been run over by a large lorry.

[The Peepmaster]

What a coincidence. I feel the same way about you, except that in your case the weasel would have to have been run over by a large lorry.

That'd probably still be more attractive to birds than you.  :

[Mince]

No, that's a contradiction: remember that I am the weasel who has not been run over.

[The Peepmaster]

Smart arse.  :

[The Peepmaster]

No, that's a contradiction: remember that I am the weasel who has not been run over.

Anyway, if a bird ever penned a romatic, endearing, love-letter to you, you'd probably reply criticising the spelling and grammar.  :

[Mince]

Perhaps, but I wouldn't ask if she enjoyed housework.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

  Who says variety is dead?

[The Peepmaster]

Hi Tarquin. You're my friend.

(What's this about women enjoying housework? Enjoyment's never been a requirement with me. That Mince, eh?)  :  :