Beau Peep Notice Board > Just a Fort

Another "Does This Gag Work"?

<< < (2/3) > >>

Roger Kettle:
The second gag is perfect. I laughed out loud---for the first time since I returned from Tannadice yesterday.

Malky McGookin:
Believe it or not the gag works better when you close the mouths on the male characters.
Stll binning it, though.

Roger Kettle:
I've just looked at the original cartoon again. I'm an idiot. I did NOT notice the guy's hand on the woman's hip before! This now makes a lot more sense and the gag works. Maybe the drawing wasn't clear enough....no, go with the I'm An Idiot theory.

Malc:
I did think the arm wasn't prominent enough, and considered altering it in Photoshop so that it wrapped around her possessively.
I might try that, as long as he doesn't end up looking like he has one arm like an orang utan.
I think you're being too kind, though, the gag's not great.

Tarquin Thunderthighs lll:
Malc, the other (faded) guy - I think you should ditch him, or at least redraw him as someone a little more hunky. As it stands, you assume he's the speaking girl's beau, and he's pretty much on a par with the ugly guy in question. Does that make sense?

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page