I am pleased to announce that the reinforcement arrived safely and without harm. Following a thorough physical, he has been pronounced fit and well for duties. #1 recruit has also had a physical checkup and is not suffering from split handle syndrome. He is standing by for Operation MUGCAKE tomorrow, as supplies were air-dropped today.
#2 recruit, having been reprieved from being sent back to the clutches of the Peepmaster (where undoubtedly he would have been heavily sedated and disguised and passed of to the Mince as a fit specimen, is awaiting surgery. The outcome will be posted on this board. cards and flowers are not required from well-wishers, but cash is very much welcome, especially by the Peepmaster (who continually pesters Joan for a tenner).
By the way, Peeps, recruits #3 and #4 have yet to turn up. If they do not arrive by Wednesday, they will be considered absent and the MPs (real ones, not those oicks in Westminster) will be called out to recover them.
Stand by, Stand by.