A Philistine Writes.

[Roger Kettle]

I don't like Shakespeare. I find it mind-numbingly boring. I also don't like opera or ballet and the wine I drink usually comes from a box. I have never read a single word written by the Brontes and my attempts to get through a Russian novel have ended after about eight pages. I hate oysters, caviar and champagne. If pushed, I could hum you a few bars from Swan Lake but my knowledge of classical music is restricted to anything that's been used in T.V. adverts. I DID get a bit interested in Coleridge and Wordsworth as a teenager but I think this was due more to their Bohemian/Hippy lifestyle than anything else. I'm not proud about this and it's time I made an effort to change.
Okay...where do I start?

[Mince]

GCSE

Do you want me to set you a poem or book to analyse?

[The Peepmaster]

I'm off to the Philistines next Thursday for three weeks. Starting off in Manila again.

[Vulture]

I don't like Shakespeare. I find it mind-numbingly boring. I also don't like opera or ballet and the wine I drink usually comes from a box. I have never read a single word written by the Brontes and my attempts to get through a Russian novel have ended after about eight pages. I hate oysters, caviar and champagne. If pushed, I could hum you a few bars from Swan Lake but my knowledge of classical music is restricted to anything that's been used in T.V. adverts. I DID get a bit interested in Coleridge and Wordsworth as a teenager but I think this was due more to their Bohemian/Hippy lifestyle than anything else. I'm not proud about this and it's time I made an effort to change.
Okay...where do I start?

I suggest reading Noddy in Toyland.

[Roger Kettle]

GCSE

Do you want me to set you a poem or book to analyse?

Well, no, as that would involve work. One of our site regulars, Fyodor, is a huge Shakespeare buff but it really does escape me. I fear it's all too late for me---I've worked for The Daily Star for thirty years. I am beyond redemption.

[Roger Kettle]

I don't like Shakespeare. I find it mind-numbingly boring. I also don't like opera or ballet and the wine I drink usually comes from a box. I have never read a single word written by the Brontes and my attempts to get through a Russian novel have ended after about eight pages. I hate oysters, caviar and champagne. If pushed, I could hum you a few bars from Swan Lake but my knowledge of classical music is restricted to anything that's been used in T.V. adverts. I DID get a bit interested in Coleridge and Wordsworth as a teenager but I think this was due more to their Bohemian/Hippy lifestyle than anything else. I'm not proud about this and it's time I made an effort to change.
Okay...where do I start?

I suggest reading Noddy in Toyland.

Now THAT I know!

[Vulture]

Okay...where do I start?

I suggest reading Noddy in Toyland.

Now THAT I know!

If you get stuck on any of the big words, I'm sure Mince will help you out.

[The Peepmaster]

Well I've read Noddy, (and I've also read Hamlet). I remember he has a little shiny little yellow and red car, and the milkman would shake his head to hear his bell ring, in lieu of payment.

[Vulture]

Well I've read Noddy, (and I've also read Hamlet). I remember he has a little shiny little yellow and red car, and the milkman would shake his head to hear his bell ring, in lieu of payment.

Why would the milkman shake his head to hear his bell ring - was the milkman deaf?

[Mince]

Well I've read Noddy, (and I've also read Hamlet). I remember he has a little shiny little yellow and red car, and the milkman would shake his head to hear his bell ring, in lieu of payment.

Why would the milkman shake his head to hear his bell ring - was the milkman deaf?

I thought he was talking about Hamlet.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Hamlet's car was green.

[The Peepmaster]

Yes, and it was an estate of Denmark.

[Malc]

....and there was something rotten in it.

Shaw was also not a big fan of Shakespeare, he inspired me to look askance at all the stuff we were encouraged at school to think of as the cream of theatre.

I'm not anti Wllie Waggledagger, just don't see what all the fuss is about. Fact is, we don't talk like that nowadays and it is very difficult for modern audiences to understand what The Bard was on about. That's why we have accompanying explanatory texts.

[Diane CBPFC]

Shakespeare was a humanitarian and humanist during a bleak period of history, he gave sympathetic and intelligent roles to women and minorities and fought fear, ignorance and superstition while at the same time having a sense of humour and dashing sword fights. There are so many great modern movie adaptations. Shakespeare is one of my heroes.

I love the opera too and try to take my kids each year to the city to see one as part of the opera?s student program. (It is a 900km round trip for me).

My daughter is in ballet so we made the effort and bought some good seats to see Swan Lake a couple of years ago when they came to Edmonton. It was so beautiful it gave me goose bumps.

Of course it goes without saying that Shakespeare is not as good as Beau Peep though.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Of course it goes without saying that Shakespeare is not as good as Beau Peep though.

False comparison, Diane. I'm sure what you intended to say was either that Hamlet is not as good as Beau Peep, or that Shakespeare is not as good as Kettle.

And who could argue with that?