Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Zesty White on July 21, 2009, 09:41:17 PM

Title: Any suggestions??
Post by: Zesty White on July 21, 2009, 09:41:17 PM: You're a humourous lot. I have a bridegroom's speech to write for Friday. Anyone know any suitable gags?
Title: Re: Any suggestions??
Post by: Joan on July 21, 2009, 09:48:09 PM: Not my area, Zesty, but I can't wait to see what the others come up with. Some of them may actually be quite good. I will offer my congratulations, though - hope the day goes off smoothly and everybody has a great time!

Lang may yer lum reek!
Title: Re: Any suggestions??
Post by: Roger Kettle on July 21, 2009, 09:58:17 PM: Zesty, are you the one getting married or are you writing the speech for the bridegroom?
I wrote an Andy Capp recently where Andy was giving advice to a guy who had to make a best man's speech. '...but, from experience, I wouldn't recommend opening with "I'm sure we all agree that the groom could have done a lot better" '
Title: Re: Any suggestions??
Post by: Diane CBPFC on July 21, 2009, 09:59:03 PM: I was just going to ask the same question as Roger!
Title: Re: Any suggestions??
Post by: Zesty White on July 21, 2009, 10:40:17 PM: Yes, I am the condemned man. :D
Title: Re: Any suggestions??
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on July 22, 2009, 12:15:20 AM: Love is blind, marriage is an institution. Why shouldn't I be happy in a blind institution?

Got me a laugh at my first wedding...but then it was a Lanarkshire audience. I also finished off with the immortal words of Marcel Marceau...and just moved my lips a lot. Nobody got it.

Just keep it short.

Good luck! After two failed marriages, I now wish my speech had been a simple "TAXI.......!!!!"
Title: Re: Any suggestions??
Post by: Diane CBPFC on July 22, 2009, 02:12:23 AM: I think the Best Man can get away with a few gags ? if YOU want to make your bride proud and happy be gushingly sentimental in your speech ? she will keep your words in her heart forever.

The few people you would impress with jokes won?t remember them the next week (unless they are really bad).

Congratulations on your big day!
Title: Re: Any suggestions??
Post by: Malc on July 22, 2009, 07:42:03 AM: For a start, don't call it your Acceptance Speech.

I started with "Marriage is a fairy tale. Once upon a time there were three bears, mummy bear, daddy bear and baby bear. Now there's bloody millions of 'em". By the time I got to my second marriage I had a better speech.
Title: Re: Any suggestions??
Post by: Zesty White on July 22, 2009, 06:40:26 PM: :) Thank you all for your suggestions. I'm sure if I get, 'my wife and I,' in somewhere and thank some people, then it'll all be fine.
Title: Re: Any suggestions??
Post by: Roger Kettle on July 22, 2009, 07:46:42 PM: My very best wishes for your big day, Zesty. Don't forget to post on here to let us know how the honeymoon is going. Will it be in Airdrie?
Title: Re: Any suggestions??
Post by: Tom on July 22, 2009, 08:04:07 PM: Congratulations for your big day! :)
Title: Re: Any suggestions??
Post by: Zesty White on July 23, 2009, 10:10:59 AM: Quote from: Roger Kettle on July 22, 2009, 07:46:42 PM
My very best wishes for your big day, Zesty. Don't forget to post on here to let us know how the honeymoon is going. Will it be in Airdrie?

;D No,we've decided to push the boat out and have it in Coatbridge...
Title: Re: Any suggestions??
Post by: Malc on July 23, 2009, 01:21:14 PM: Ooooh, there's posh... ..0