Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Diane CBPFC on May 11, 2007, 07:53:28 PM
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I did not know that.
Malcolm has his own website: http://www.malcolmmcgookin.com/ (http://www.malcolmmcgookin.com/) and appears to be quite famous! Fancy that.
I liked your editorials Malc - and the one of blind guy getting verbal instruction from his seeing-eye dog on where the poop was that he needed to pick up.
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Yes, it's true, Diane. I'm just grateful that my devoted parents, Barbie and Tarquin Thunderthighs II, didn't saddle me with such a ludicrous moniker. Malcolm indeed!
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I'm a bit disturbed by how often my name has come up in thread titles lately, even though I have a healthy ego. Kindly desist, you lot.
Did anyone actually think I was a made up name? Good lord. I always wished I was called something like Steve Storm or Grit Viper. It sort of sets up an image of a square-jawed cigar chomping leader of the Howlin' Commandos.
I used to go to school with a kid called Wayne Strong. I saw his name on the register and as you can imagine, I formed a vision of a tall, blonde he-man of a kid, football captain who inspires lust-filled frenzy in women.
Precisely what I inspired in them is lost in the veils of time.
Turns out that Wayne was a tiny, slim myopic Woody Allen lookalike with Woody Allen paranoia about his health, bad breath and a disgusting habit of picking his nose with his thumb.
Valerie, (the author I mentioned) and I met for the first time in Sydney after we'd corresponded on a cartoonists board for some time. Afterwards she posted "met Mr McGookin today, he was surprisingly pleasant really, and not seven feet tall".
Mr McGookin? Seven feet tall? For the record, five foot nine and call me Malc.
Just another shot in my eternal battle to inform people I'm a real person of average height.
Anyone would think that I'd made an impression on Valerie in that meeting, but the next time I met her I said "Valerie, how are you?"
She said "oh, fine.....Sorry, have we met?"
Oh yes. That's what I inspired in women -amnesia.
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I had a similar experience at a school reunion. (Here's a tip: NEVER go to one of these). I approached a former classmate who, I was convinced, had had a crush on me at school.
"Anne! Nice to see you again!"
Not a clue. She stumbled through a few niceties before excusing herself and wandering off. About ten minutes later, I felt a tap on my arm and turned to see the aforementioned Anne smiling at me.
" I am SO sorry I didn't recognise you earlier! You know what these things are like---so many faces that you haven't seen for years. Anyway, how are you, Robert?"
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I don't have that problem Roger.
When burds fancy me, they never forget my name.
It's tattooed on my forehead ;D
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Literate burds fancy blokes with tattooed foreheads? I'm doing something wrong.
Life's a b*tch sometimes, huh, Robert?
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But back to me...
I've got the most ignorable features in the world. I am famous for not getting served at bars. My wife gets the drinks in because bar staff walk right past me.
One time I was ignored by a barmaid when there was only me there. My wife witnessed it.
If she could pronounce it, she would say I was a phenomenon.
I would make an ideal spy, only I don't have the maths.
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Obviously the woman is lusting after you Roger ? the ?Robert? thing is just a ploy to save face seeing you married someone else.
I thought that was a barcode on your forehead Colin.
TTIII ? if think if I were you, I would go for a temporary tattoo first to see if it makes any difference ? the burds could use it against you as in ?Get lost Tarquin?. You had best be careful.
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Diane, that's "burrds" in the Scots vernacular.
You have to know how to roll your r's