Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on July 05, 2010, 09:08:28 PM

Title: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Roger Kettle on July 05, 2010, 09:08:28 PM
The "Celebrity Culture".
Those of you who live overseas may not have heard of Jordan, a woman who dominates the popular media over here. She has dated a famous footballer, has married a pop star, divorced a pop star, married someone else and has large breasts. Apparently, at her latest wedding, a photographer got punched which, obviously, merited a tabloid front page.
On TV, we have Celebrity Mastermind, where celebrities answer questions.
We have Celebrity Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, wher celebrities answer questions.
We have Celebrity Family Fortunes, where celebrities answer questions.
Want some cooking?
We have Celebrity Masterchef, Celebrity Can't Cook Won't Cook and Celebrity Pressure Cooking.
Antiques?
We have Celebrity Bargain Hunt, Celebrity Cash In The Attic...
WHHHHYYYY??? WHO CARES ABOUT THESE PEOPLE?

Lawyers' Note: We would like to point out that Roger's views have nothing to do with the tabloid newspapers that pay his wages.






Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Vulture on July 05, 2010, 09:21:08 PM
The "Celebrity Culture".
Those of you who live overseas may not have heard of Jordan, a woman who dominates the popular media over here. She has dated a famous footballer, has married a pop star, divorced a pop star, married someone else and has large breasts. Apparently, at her latest wedding, a photographer got punched which, obviously, merited a tabloid front page.
On TV, we have Celebrity Mastermind, where celebrities answer questions.
We have Celebrity Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, wher celebrities answer questions.
We have Celebrity Family Fortunes, where celebrities answer questions.
Want some cooking?
We have Celebrity Masterchef, Celebrity Can't Cook Won't Cook and Celebrity Pressure Cooking.
Antiques?
We have Celebrity Bargain Hunt, Celebrity Cash In The Attic...
WHHHHYYYY??? WHO CARES ABOUT THESE PEOPLE?  More to the point, Roger, WHO ARE they?

Lawyers' Note: We would like to point out that Roger's views have nothing to do with the tabloid newspapers that pay his wages.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Diane CBPFC on July 05, 2010, 09:23:08 PM
Bugger! They never asked you to be in Millionaire this year either.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Bilthehut on July 05, 2010, 11:39:23 PM
 :D. You read my mind, Diane.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Joan on July 06, 2010, 01:08:01 AM
I love a chuckle first thing in the morning.

PS I have heard of Jordan.  Had to look her up the first time her name appeared in a book or something. Her overriding claim to fame appeared to be big boobs.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Feather on July 06, 2010, 03:53:54 AM
I'll see your "Jordan" and raise you Kim Kardashian and Hugh Hefner's leftover love trio.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Bilthehut on July 06, 2010, 06:54:38 AM
Nope.  Don't know them (except for Hugh) - (but not personally).  :D
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Bilthehut on July 06, 2010, 06:56:10 AM
Her overriding claim to fame appeared to be big boobs.
- and an over-inflated ego.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Joan on July 06, 2010, 06:59:01 AM
Her overriding claim to fame appeared to be big boobs.
- and an over-inflated ego.

... to go with the boobs, I suppose.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Roger Kettle on July 06, 2010, 10:03:02 AM
Bugger! They never asked you to be in Millionaire this year either.
I've been asked to go on television a couple of times and I declined both offers with alacrity. The thought of appearing on the box fills me with horror and that ain't going to change. I did a radio interview once and I was awful---public speaking just isn't my thing.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Mince on July 06, 2010, 10:39:40 AM
It's all awful. They'll have celebrity notice boards next.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on July 06, 2010, 11:49:54 AM
The day after I appeared on Countdown, I was followed round Woolworths by an elderly gentleman in a flat cap, who kept pointing at me and arguing with his missus. The following day, I took up my usual season ticket seat at the football. A similarly elderly capped gentleman sat beside me, the same season ticket seat he had sat in all year without so much as a word to me. After ten minutes and a lull in proceedings, without making eye contact, he addressed me with, "Saw ye on the telly the other day". I smiled to cover my blushes. "Ye were shite!" he said, then we never spoke again.

I think we need a little sympathy here - we celebrities don't all live on Easy Street, y'ken!
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 06, 2010, 01:05:57 PM
I recently read that Jordan's new boyfriend is a cage-fighter. Not a brain surgeon, a cartoonist, or a professor of astrophysics. That says a lot.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Bilthehut on July 06, 2010, 02:15:06 PM
I recently read that Jordan's new boyfriend husband is a cage-fighter. Not a brain surgeon, a cartoonist, or a professor of astrophysics. That says a lot.

But for how long will probably depend on how much the celebrity magazines will pay for the story.

From BBC News:
"Reality TV star Katie Price and Alex Reid have had their marriage blessed at a ceremony in Surrey on Saturday.  Stars including Danielle Lloyd and Melinda Messenger attended the service at St Paul's Church in Woldingham.

The reception was held at Price's former marital home with ex-husband Peter Andre. The blessing was filmed as part of an ITV2 special.  In February Price and Reid tied the knot in Las Vegas after dating for seven months.  They met shortly after Price and Andre, who have two children together, divorced in September.

[The ceremony will be shown in a three-part ITV2 series later this summer]" 

So, now we know.  Be prepared to set your TV recorders to make sure you MISS this 3-part extravaganza.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Feather on July 06, 2010, 02:37:11 PM
I looked up "Jordan." She looks far older than her age.

I guess she is the UK version of Pamela Anderson.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Bilthehut on July 06, 2010, 02:56:23 PM
I think Pam may have more brains?
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on July 06, 2010, 03:06:14 PM
Roger, I hope the irony of your actions hasn't escaped you.

Welcome to the Beau Peep Celebrity Thread...
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Malc on July 06, 2010, 05:31:54 PM
I'm afraid it's all part of the growing feminization of TV, Roger. I was lucky to work in animation during the golden age, but now TV is all about making as much money with as little outlay as possible and aiming it at the people who actually watch it - not bringing in a new demographic, and certainly not making challenging programs or crusading journalism.

Who actually watches TV? Women. Who do you hear talking about Celebrity Masterchef around the water cooler at work? Women. What are these programs all about? They're merely womens magazine articles writ large - gardening, home improvement, TV celebrities, weight loss, cooking.

I'm surprised more people haven't picked this. Britain's Got Talent is simply Opportunity Knocks, and Masterchef is Fanny Craddock or Delia Smith, only today's TV execs now want those programs jazzed up and supercharged, with a narrative thrown in to sensationalize it. The old Saturday afternoon wrestling is now WWE, which now has a soap opera storyline attached.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Vulture on July 06, 2010, 06:16:02 PM
I'm afraid it's all part of the growing feminization of TV, Roger. I was lucky to work in animation during the golden age, but now TV is all about making as much money with as little outlay as possible and aiming it at the people who actually watch it - not bringing in a new demographic, and certainly not making challenging programs or crusading journalism.

Who actually watches TV?  Some men and some Women. Who do you hear talking about Celebrity Masterchef around the water cooler at work? Some men and some Women. What are these programs all about? They're merely womens magazine articles writ large - gardening, home improvement, TV celebrities, weight loss, cooking.

I'm surprised more people haven't picked this. Britain's Got Talent is simply Opportunity Knocks, and Masterchef is Fanny Craddock or Delia Smith, only today's TV execs now want those programs jazzed up and supercharged, with a narrative thrown in to sensationalize it. The old Saturday afternoon wrestling is now WWE, which now has a soap opera storyline attached.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Jack on July 06, 2010, 06:47:46 PM
If only Roger had some kind of creative media outlet in which he could use fictional characters to satirically savage celebrity culture. I'd read it.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on July 06, 2010, 07:08:51 PM
If only Roger had some kind of creative media outlet in which he could use fictional characters to satirically savage celebrity culture. I'd read it.

He has.

Picture (1):  Flo returns home, having been evicted from the Big Brother house...
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Diane CBPFC on July 06, 2010, 07:42:31 PM
When I looked in previously - "Yet something else that gets up my nose..." "by Feather" - just think how awful it would be to have a feather up your nose. It could be worse, which incidentally is the motto for my country in Nation States.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Roger Kettle on July 06, 2010, 08:29:46 PM
If only Roger had some kind of creative media outlet in which he could use fictional characters to satirically savage celebrity culture. I'd read it.
:)
The Nomad frequently writes to TV producers with programme ideas, one of which was "Celebrity Whaling".
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Malc on July 07, 2010, 07:30:17 AM
Vulch, I'll allow you Mostly Women, but not Some Men and Some Women. I'm not having a go at the gender, what I'm  putting forward here isn't speculation, it's commercial fact. What TV execs realised some thirty or so years ago was that TV wasn't paying enough (by their standards and expectations, that is). Good programmes were too hard and too expensive to make, and the strike rate was very low - TV was just too difficult, and great writing (just as it is in the in the print/publishing world) was too rare.
So how does a dumbarse, talentless TV exec deal with an industry where talent, taste and the ability to spot talent and taste is paramount? You change the industry, effectively moving the mountain to Mohammed.
TV took their queue from book and magazine publishing. The womens market was thriving where other books and mags went to the wall. The worst writer in the world, Barbara Cartland, was also the most prolific, Woman's Own had virtually no-one else on the cover every week apart from Lady Di, and the formulae for articles had not changed in half a century. Problem pages and fashion (or "shopping and f*cking" as it became known) were the staple diet, and it wasn't long before specialist mags like "Bride" and "Baby" proved that the womens market was sturdy and long-lived.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Malc on July 07, 2010, 07:45:50 AM
I'm splitting this reply into two, as the "Reply" box was acting up all weird:

...so it was decide pretty much by the mid eighties that the market would have to change, and that's when the plethora of lame programming came out. Everything was aimed at either women or the Radio 1 demographic. The Radio 1-type programs with the radio "posse" format were becoming popular (even in Oz today we have a minimum of three presenters for morning shows, generally called Labrat, Camilla and Stav or similar) and their stock in trade was student rag week stunts like who could suffer living for days in a car with three other people the longest?
That sort of thing was popular amongst those at the more shallow end of the gene pool, and it developed later into Big Brother, just as Search For A Star became American Idol.

Mix that "sure thing" appeal with programming inspired by the womens publishing market and you have the TV  that you see today. It's no mystery how it all came about, but very few, if any, commentators seem to have picked it.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Vulture on July 07, 2010, 07:53:23 AM
Oh, dear. I must be less woman and more bloke than I thought!
I have never had the urge to watch any type of 'reality' show, or show starring 'celebrities' that I've never heard of. I buy one magazine every couple of weeks or so, mainly for my teen-aged granddaughters to read when they come round.
I DO have a sad life compared with most of my friends but I think it's preferable than the 'mostly women' that you mention in your post.  :D
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Malc on July 07, 2010, 07:58:49 AM
You're not like most other women, Vulch, that's why you're here.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Vulture on July 07, 2010, 08:00:45 AM
OK - keep going. I'm waiting for the punch-line....
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Malc on July 07, 2010, 11:38:43 AM
Nope, that's it. ;D
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Calvin on July 07, 2010, 04:57:08 PM
It's all about money. As Malc called them, "dumbarse and talentless", TV execs are probably  the least creative people on the planet but they can money grub with the best of 'em and when they find something that works, look out, there's sure to be a hundred variations in the same format. It's certainly easier than coming up with an original idea.
Reality shows - no writers to pay, no actors to pay (I'd bet that some of the participants would even pay to go on these shows in their desperation for attention), no skilled camera-men thinking out angles, tracking, composition etc. to pay, cheap sets. It's win-win for the networks.
I only ever watched one reality show, the first "Survivor". It wasn't bad, but then every subsequent reality show lost any reality it had when the nimrods in them started "acting real". You can spot it a mile away.
I think the writer's strike in Hollywood a couple years back also tipped the balance towards these shows, it gave the networks the opportunity.

OK, poorly expressed rant over. This is one of my hot button issues too.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Fyodor on July 07, 2010, 06:44:34 PM
I looked up "Jordan."
So did I - they were mauve.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Malc on July 08, 2010, 02:57:52 AM
To bring in a cartooning parallel (and this is one that gets up the Americans noses, god bless their little cotton socks) the syndicates in the States are exactly the same. I keep trying to get across to our friends across the pond that the syndicates are not friends of cartooning or cartoonists, and that they are not people a social cartooning organization like the NCS should be inviting to their drinkies or awards ceremonies. Syndicates are businesses who act as gatekeepers to the industry that many cartoonists want to get into, and they (along with the lazy arse editors for whom the syndicate system saves labour) are responsible for the fact that strip cartooning wages are at 1970s levels.
This is of course inflammatory to those cartoonists who run the NCS and who see the syndicate heads as valued colleagues, but just as lions, wildebeest and crocs all inhabit the savannah, when they gather for meals, the wildebeest tend to lose out.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Fyodor on July 09, 2010, 09:49:20 AM
Good point.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Joan on July 17, 2010, 06:00:57 AM
The day after I appeared on Countdown, I was followed round Woolworths by an elderly gentleman in a flat cap, who kept pointing at me and arguing with his missus. The following day, I took up my usual season ticket seat at the football. A similarly elderly capped gentleman sat beside me, the same season ticket seat he had sat in all year without so much as a word to me. After ten minutes and a lull in proceedings, without making eye contact, he addressed me with, "Saw ye on the telly the other day". I smiled to cover my blushes. "Ye were shite!" he said, then we never spoke again.

I think we need a little sympathy here - we celebrities don't all live on Easy Street, y'ken!

Love it!  I know it's not quite applicable, but my mother would have said "That was your gas in a peep!"
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Roger Kettle on July 17, 2010, 09:44:16 AM
Tarks' story is almost identical to one of mine which I may have mentioned before. I think it's a Scottish thing...
I was introduced to a guy in a local pub as the "bloke who writes Beau Peep". "Oh, yeah!" he replied "it used to be funny but it's shite now".
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Malc on July 17, 2010, 02:28:15 PM
Joan, I'm not casting nasturtiums on your powers of recall, but your mum probably said "that PUT your gas AT a peep", meaning you turned your gas flame down so that it was a tiny flicker (a "peep"), hardly noticeable.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 17, 2010, 02:40:39 PM
My dear ol' Ma used to say "Never put a banana in the fruit bowl if you want satsumas to thrive, even on a Wednesday". I've never forgotten that.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Roger Kettle on July 17, 2010, 04:23:48 PM
San Miguels going down well, Nige?
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Malc on July 17, 2010, 10:08:10 PM
My old Grandad used to say "if the chain's still swingin', the seat's still warm".
He also had an endearing habit of getting up from his battered old armchair to spit in the fire.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Joan on July 18, 2010, 03:00:52 AM
It was definitely 'in a peep' that Mum used to say, Malc.  I Googled it and both are used, but "at" is more common. In my Google travels I found this wee poem:

  Adam McNaughton:  Folksinger, songwriter, Book-Dealer and Teacher

    Oh, where is the Glasgow that I used to know,
    Big Willie, wee Shooey. The Steamie, the Co.,
    The shilpet wee bauchle, the glaiket big dreep,
    The ba’ on the slates, an’ yer gas in a peep?
    If ye scrape the veneer aff, are these things still there?

(Where is the Glasgow?)


I understand everything except for 'shilpet' - translation please!
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Diamond Lil on July 18, 2010, 08:40:30 AM
I thinks it's sort of a poor-looking, frail ...in winter that person would be shivering because her clothes were too thin for the weather.  Realised I put in "her" clothes because I always associate the word with a female.
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Malc on July 18, 2010, 11:14:58 AM
I can see that "in" is definitely used, Joan.

My mum used to say "ah pit it et a peep" (I turned the gas down so it was hardly a flame) which, if you say it out loud sounds like you're stuttering.  :D
Title: Re: Yet something else that gets up my nose...
Post by: Joan on July 19, 2010, 07:48:36 AM
Thanks, Lil.  It actually sounds vaguely familiar now you explained.   A bit like "Peter Piper picked a peck, etc" Malc, the stutter coming from the 't's.  I read something about the 'peep' bit being used often when the mains gas pressure would fluctuate all the time - not sure why.