Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Mince on June 08, 2007, 09:36:26 PM
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I have decided to be a cartoonist. Here is a portfolio of my work so far.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v67/BritTeacher/Beau%20Peep/721a85bc.jpg)
What do you think?
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This is called "Night Train".
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v67/BritTeacher/Beau%20Peep/11cb949b.jpg)
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I've seen worse.
I'm getting worried.
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This is called "Karate Fight".
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v67/BritTeacher/Beau%20Peep/3ee70c94.jpg)
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Actually, I am stunned at how effortlessly I am able to create these images.
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I'm stunned too. No, really!
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This is meant to be a woman but I could not fit her all in. I was concentrating on the important parts only.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v67/BritTeacher/Beau%20Peep/af7b1250.jpg)
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Is her name Wanda? Or Wendy? Winnifred?
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Are you saying she's someone you know?
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Have you ever see the classic movie 'It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World', Mincey?
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No, I'm not that old.
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I can believe that. Certainly not old enough to go in search of the Big W...
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. . . formed from four palm trees.
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Indeed.
I'm not getting anywhere with this, am I?
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Is that what you said to Wanda?
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Of course, she could be called Erica or Eunice, but have her jumper on sideways...
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Or she could be on a fast merry-go-round.
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That's no "w". Those are her pendulous breasts. Don't tiptoe round them like they are a sensitive nipples.
I mean subject.
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Mince attempts to become a cartoonist. I wondered why it was I slept soundly in my bed last night.
( . Y . )
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Hey! The way you arranged those brackets, full stops and the letter "y" looks exactly like ladies boobies.
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Perverts!
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Mince, you are obviously hugely talented as a cartoonist but I doubt if you've looked at the bigger picture. Can you handle the fame and fortune? Can you handle being stalked by super-models? Can you handle the tabloid press raking through your bins? Can you handle being mobbed by fans when you go to your local shop to buy a newspaper? Ask Malc, Nige or Tarks. It's hell, my friend. Hell.
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Ask Malc, Nige or Tarks.
Why? Do they know famous cartoonists who have been stalked by supermodels?
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Can you handle a kick in the cullions?
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If you're talking about the mountains on Skye, they're the Cuillins. Due to the rarified astomsphere at that height, it's harder to handle a kick, but I reckon Mince could do it. He's wiry.
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If you're talking about the mountains on Skye, they're the Cuillins.
No, no - my spelling is entirely correct.
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I Googled, and found that "cullions" is an obsolete term for testicles. That about sums up my cullions.
This is a true story.
I attended a school reunion about eight years ago in Germany. Because that's where the school was, we weren't showing off or anything.
Anyway, it was a magical weekend and I met loads of ex schoolmates, got ver' ver' drunk and had a great time.
Nothing happened at the reunion, (sadly) it was all very above board, but I returned with a condition called epididymo orchitis - a massive swelling of one testicle. I remember the instant that it happened. I merely bent forward awkwardly in a chair and there was the small sound of a part-boiled spaghetti stick snapping in my groin. The swelling didn't start until some hours later.
I was thoroughly tested and it was confirmed as non-STD condition, which of course pleased my wife.
Anyway, when I presented my condition to the doctor, I first explained it, feeling that the sight of such a huge swelling in that area might be cause for mirth.
He assured me that he had seen it all and that as a professional he would treat the sight with clinical detachment.
When I dropped my drawers, however, he could barely stifle a guffaw.
That's nothing, says I, the other one's in a truck outside.
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Sorry - I mean :(
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I can barely see the keyboard through watering eyes.
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Sorry about your testicle Malc. :( From now on, whenever I hear the sound of spaghetti snapping I will think of you - unless of course I get some professional help.
I have a doctor story?
All our doctors are from South Africa ? the newer ones are hard to understand when they first get here.
I went in complaining that I thought I had broken my ankle; he asked, ?Did you wipe beer on in?? and I explained that I had not heard of that treatment and, anyway, we did not have any beer.
After some careful pronunciation it turns out he was really asking me if my weight would bear on it.
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South Africans don't bear a grudge. That's where they keep their cars.
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;D
Prince Charles very appropriately uses the word "ears" to answer any questions in the affirmative.
Try it - I'm the Queen, right (use your imagination), and I've just asked you (Prince Charlie) if you'd like an extra helping of sprouts.
And you say...(stressing that first letter).......
;D ;D ;D
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I remember Charles once visiting Bilston, in the West Midlands, wearing headwear made of fur. Asked about it, he explained that when he'd told the Queen where he was scheduled to appear that day, she'd said: "Bilston? Wear the fox hat".