Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on June 29, 2007, 10:35:29 PM
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June 29th 2007.
You know you're really old when you you check the calendar----not for the date, for the year. I've just done that. Another thing I've noticed about growing old is that songs stick in your head. Paul Simon's "You Can Call Me Al" has been echoing round my brain for about two weeks now and no amount of singing "Nellie The Elephant" at the top of my voice seems to shift it.
My 19 year old daughter arrived home at 4 a.m. yesterday. I had no idea the church bingo went on so late.
The recent torrential rain in the U.K. has, at least, given me inspiration for a Beau Peep series. The mad Colonel Escargot has decided to build an ark.....in an attempt to save two biscuits of every kind.
My 17 year old son has now left school and appears to be practising the art of sleep. The grass needs cutting and I'm trying to work out a reasonable bribe for him to do the job. I doubt if a fiver would tempt him to open his eyes, let alone get the mower out. I refuse to go above ?7.50.
According to the news today, the Spice Girls are getting together again! I am overjoyed! I can't wait to hear Posh, Scary, Dopey, Sleepy and Doc mime again!
I really like "Law and Order" but can't work out what instrument hits that double note which greets every new setting.
Many things puzzle me these days. I am old.
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Poor Rog :(
If your daughter is out until 4:00 AM tell her to run the mower around while she is at it.
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Roger, having met up with you for the first time in far too long the other week, I can categorically say that you haven't changed one single...what was the question again?
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I'll be fifty one this year and last night I was playing open age football with a bunch of eighteen year olds. I was doing alright too, tackling, dribbling, sprinting and leaving the young fellas in my wake. Until I fell over the ball and hit the ground like a sack of ....
I used to run the social soccer at my club, and have grown to know almost every player, many of whom came through from under 13s and who now play in the first team. The instant I hit the ground, the whistle went, and I was surrounded by concerned young guys (my 13 year-old son included). There were murmurings of "might need an ambulance" and "I definitely heard something snap".
I was unhurt, however, and jumped to my feet.
This caused such wonderment that applause broke out. I heard two young fellas on the other team exchanging words. One of them mistakenly thought that the other had fouled me. The accused protested his innocence. This was all done in whispers.
I began to consider the possiblity...no, it couldn't be... Rather than me being a freak super-athlete, defying my years and cocking a snook at father time, had these lads been going easy on me for years?
I got the ball, dribbled past a couple of first team players, knocked the ball long, took to my toes up the left wing, my hair whistling in the wind, and sent in an inch-perfect cross to the goal.
Jogging back to my position, I dismissed my doubts. No, fit, strong and fast as these young fellas are, They're not cutting me any slack. I'm outrunning them using sheer experience.
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Roger, that Law and Order "joink - joink" sound has become hugely famous. Wiki says "it was created by combining close to a dozen sounds, including that of a group of monks stamping on a floor."
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Malc, I so envy you. I'm two years your junior, and yet I'd be happy just to be able to run on to a football pitch again without the aid of my nitroglycerin spray.
I gave up playing competitive football when I was only 24. I had just become self-employed and was a few months away from fatherhood. Time was money, so frivolous pursuits like playing football and training had to go. What a dipstick!
In a life of big mistakes, I try very hard not to regret anything - but that one's hard.
Sell the kids a couple of dummies from me, McGookin. Go, Malky!
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This is a photo from a couple of years ago. I'm the one in white. The guy next to me is my oldest boy (also called Malc) who now lives in Bristol.
We look a lot more effective in this photo than we really are.
(http://www.cartoonaustralia.com/malk/malk%206-a-side.gif)
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Can all you young guys move over and let an old woman in? I'm 60 next year and that seems totally impossible...when did I become so grumpy and cynical? I've spent this week trying to rationalise the men in suits who chose the next Middle East envoy, the Councils across middle England who sent employees out to water hanging basket displays and a new Government appointing people to senior positions who will actually have to sign up to the Party first (that may actually be a blessing.)
As for having Paul Simon's lyrics in your head...I've got Paul McCartney's new ditty. The mention of "Nelly the Elephant" now conjures up our latest session at work to update our knowledge of emegency first aid treatment...when performing cardiac resuscitation on a patient, in the unlikely (please God) event that someone collapses in front of the reception desk while the docs are out, the correct rhythm for the procedure is to depress the chest while singing "Nelly". 2 verses is 30 depressions and then you stop for a breath...or give the patient a breath, if you've any left to spare. Only after being the first to attempt to save a dummy's life was I told that the idea was to sing "Nelly" in your head. Now my task is to remember which song will accompany my lifesaving efforts...I'd hate to waste precious moments deliberating over "Sweet Caroline" against "Nelly"
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Lil, I can just imagine you kneeling over this poor victim, shouting "What was the name of that f****** elephant again?"
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Roger, that Law and Order "joink - joink" sound has become hugely famous. Wiki says "it was created by combining close to a dozen sounds, including that of a group of monks stamping on a floor."
Cheers, Malc. I had no idea that sound had become so famous. I thought I was the only person intrigued by it. By the way, "joink-joink" is the most apt, most perfect piece of onomatopoeia I've ever heard!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StPHXFdb1Y4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StPHXFdb1Y4)
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NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
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NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
It had to be done.
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Lil, I feel your pain.
Just renewed my Senior First Aid certificate last week. The new perceived wisdom is indeed thirty depressions followed by two breaths, then thirty depressions, etc, etc..
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Did you honestly think I would be talking rubbish? 8)
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NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
It had to be done.
No, it didn't!
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[...]The mention of "Nelly the Elephant" now conjures up our latest session at work to update our knowledge of emegency first aid treatment...when performing cardiac resuscitation on a patient, in the unlikely (please God) event that someone collapses in front of the reception desk while the docs are out, the correct rhythm for the procedure is to depress the chest while singing "Nelly". 2 verses is 30 depressions and then you stop for a breath...or give the patient a breath, if you've any left to spare. Only after being the first to attempt to save a dummy's life was I told that the idea was to sing "Nelly" in your head. [...]
Still gives me a chuckle so your embarrassment at the time was well worth it. ;D
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Doubly so! I thought that was hilarious also, Lil. ;D ;D ;D
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so glad I've raised a smile.... :-\
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Your initiation into the DDDDDD will be more embarrassing.
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Poor Rog :(
If your daughter is out until 4:00 AM tell her to run the mower around while she is at it.
I tried this, Di---this is how the conversation went...
Me: Maybe you could run the mower about when you come back at 4 a.m.
Daughter: My heels would stick in the lawn.
Me: Excellent! You'll aerate the grass at the same time!
Daughter: Go away.
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Your initiation into the DDDDDD will be more embarrassing.
bring it on...I can handle anything now 8)
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Me: Excellent! You'll aerate the grass at the same time!
Daughter: Go away.
She said that? That's truly shocking. Mine would have told me to p*ss off.
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I was being polite. She didn't even use p*ss.
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Did you honestly think I would be talking rubbish?
It's in the genes.
Did your CPR dummies have red vests? Ours had removable faces (for hygiene purposes) and when they were all lying around the floor it looked like Hannibal Lecter had eaten a bunch of beach lifeguards.
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Our very own "Resusci Annie" is old and well worn and we are given a new plastic bag thingy to have each time to put over her mouth. When the big gun arrived from the Health Board the last time for training, he had an all-singing, all dancing dummy...which will now be re-named "Elton" in honour of my brother's latest rant. Anyway, this thing makes breathing noises to aid in diagnosis, has a heartbeat, can be intubated and has veins that can be used to take off "blood"...coool fun or what ;D
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Ours were head and torso only. And removable nose/mouth, under which you inserted a plastic bag. The face parts can be cleaned in a dishwasher.
I hate that word "torso". The News Of The World was always full of "woman's headless torso" stories when I was a kid. I wasn't sure what a torso was, but the fact it was identifiable as male or female gave me a clue.