Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on June 14, 2015, 08:12:26 PM
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I've just had dinner in my home with a 22 year-old, blonde, Italian ballerina called Bianca.
Any questions?
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You didn't buy a Euromillions Lottery ticket this week, by any chance?
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No.
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What are you going to do when she regains consciousness?
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And what did you have with your chips?
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Ballerinas don't eat chips. I saw it on a ballerina programme. It was called " Ah Dona Aida da chips"...I think.
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Strange name for a bloke...
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;D
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At one stage in the evening, I suddenly remembered I had some Beau Peep books that had been published in Italian. What a marvellous gift, I thought. Not only would this explain what I do for a living but it was also written in her native language. As she leafed though the pages, an expression came over her face which will forever be known in this household as the "baffled ballerina" look.
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I can't believe no-one said "Should have gone to Specsavers"
At one stage in the evening, I suddenly remembered I had some Beau Peep books that had been published in Italian. What a marvellous gift, I thought. Not only would this explain what I do for a living but it was also written in her native language. As she leafed though the pages, an expression came over her face which will forever be known in this household as the "baffled ballerina" look.
It's all Greek to me.
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That made me smile.
From tomorrow, for about a week, I will be stripping wallpaper and boxing things up, so I might be a bit scarce. On the plus side, I will be listening to loads of excellent music and intelligent non-fiction audiobooks, and eating heartily. All the best until then.
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That made me smile.
From tomorrow, for about a week, I will be stripping wallpaper and boxing things up, so I might be a bit scarce. On the plus side...
That wasn't the plus side? (Kidding! ;D ) Have fun, and be safe!
Roger, have you actually ever had the translation of the Beau Peep books checked? There are some naughty scamps about.
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No, Steve, I've never had the Italian translations checked. The guy who did them, Don Corleone, seemed a really nice guy.
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Oh, bugger - does that mean you owe him a favour...?
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Maybe you should get him a horse as a thank you gift...
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...I will be listening to loads of excellent music and intelligent non-fiction audiobooks, and eating heartily. All the best until then.
Mr Men is not "intelligent non-fiction".
How are you cooking your heartily, by the way?
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Mr Men is a highly misunderstood philosophy about life.
And what's the point of revenge-hijacking a topic if everyone is going to take me seriously? ..0
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Phil, I realised that you were "revenge-hacking" with a parody of my holiday announcement on your earlier thread. I was extremely upset and sobbed throughout my entire holiday after your original accusation. I did NOT hijack your thread! I commented favourably on your post and then cleverly used your quote about "having to work" to explain how I would NOT be working for the following week. Quite frankly, I thought this was quite a brilliant link. Stunningly clever, in fact.
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Well, after reading that explanation and everything else you wrote in your post, and considering the impersonal and easily misunderstood nature of internet communication, along with the realisation that I may have been a tad hasty, I think the least I can say is . . . What a crybaby! A whole week? You're such a girl!
And next time, perhaps you would make yourself a little clearer by beginning with "Speaking of work . . ." ;D
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Always worth remembering that smileys are a very useful way of defusing any potential misunderstanding!
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I was going to say something about managing to stop sobbing while I ate my sea bass and drank my beer when a classic Simpsons episode popped into my head. Anyone remember the one about Homer having a lobster as a pet? When he finally eats it, there's a brilliant sequence with him alternately sobbing and doing his classic drool. No?
As you were. Carry on.
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I've just had dinner in my home with a 58 year-old, bald, fat, Manx accountant called...damn you mirror
Any questions?
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I've just had dinner in my home with a 58 year-old, bald, fat, Manx accountant called...damn you mirror
Any questions?
Yes, is this topic going to end up being the Four Yorkshireman sketch?
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I've just had dinner in my home with a 58 year-old, bald, fat, Manx accountant called...damn you mirror
Any questions?
Yes, is this topic going to end up being the Four Yorkshireman sketch?
Yoo could end this topic? Yoooo were looky !! Ah used t'dream of endink topic ! Coulsons these days !!
I was going to say something about managing to stop sobbing while I ate my sea bass and drank my beer when a classic Simpsons episode popped into my head. Anyone remember the one about Homer having a lobster as a pet? When he finally eats it, there's a brilliant sequence with him alternately sobbing and doing his classic drool. No?
As you were. Carry on.
Pinchy the Lobster. Surely one of the best episodes ever. ;D ;D ;D
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Yoo could end this topic? Yoooo were looky !! Ah used t'dream of endink topic ! Coulsons these days !!
That's possibly [or to be truthful; definitely] the worst Yorkshire accent I have ever read
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Yoo could end this topic? Yoooo were looky !! Ah used t'dream of endink topic ! Coulsons these days !!
That's possibly [or to be truthful; definitely] the worst Yorkshire accent I have ever read
Me an t'ferrets thank thee for t'kind words, lad.
Yorkiness is like a second language to me. Uncanny. I've never lost it.
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As I am sure everyone already knows the Manx are a Celtic race and as such my affinity for a second language naturally lends itself to those same Celtic roots. In the admittedly smug certainty that the next demonstration of a Manx accent I see or hear will be the first demonstration of the same, I can say with hand on heart that for me it has always been the Scotlandly language that I felt most at home with.
"Och aye oor Willie where's the bairn and ma tablet. In ma day we couldna afford a whole Topic and hadtea mak doo with a Snickers, ach I remember all too well me and the rest of the bairns crowded round a sassenach's tongue for warmth after the wee man had finished sucking on a Fisherman's Friend"
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That's the BEST Yorkshire accent I've ever read!
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Being a bit of a cunning linguist, I can state that not only is the dialect spookily accurate, I can also date it to post 1990.
Prior to that date, Snickers was known as Marathon.
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Being a bit of a cunning linguist, I can state that not only is the dialect spookily accurate, I can also date it to post 1990.
Prior to that date, Snickers was known as Marathon.
Da*n you Holmes and your unrivalled knowledge of confectionery.
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Being a bit of a cunning linguist, I can state that not only is the dialect spookily accurate, I can also date it to post 1990.
Prior to that date, Snickers was known as Marathon.
Da*n you Holmes and your unrivalled knowledge of confectionery.
Lemon entry, my dear Wotsit.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kW9_OTQal6Q (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kW9_OTQal6Q)
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kW9_OTQal6Q (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kW9_OTQal6Q)
Best ever. I rest my case.