Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Malc on April 25, 2008, 03:27:07 AM

Title: My Ladies
Post by: Malc on April 25, 2008, 03:27:07 AM
As of Wednesday night, I am the coach of the Mt Gravatt Div 4 ladies team (open age).

I was asked if I would be interested in taking on a women's team last week. I do want to get back into the 11-a-side game and pass on what I know, and this team desperately needed a coach, so it was an easy decision to make.

On a purely sexist level, there are a number of real lookers in the side - drop dead gorgeous. This doesn't affect the coaching, of course (though I have to ask the manager to check to make sure they're all clothed before I go into the dressing room) and they can play pretty well, but it does affect the level of interest shown by the boneheads at my club, who were never that interested in how things were going with my U10s, U11s, U12s, or U15s boys in recent years.

Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on April 25, 2008, 09:19:28 AM
Men!  ::)
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: The Peepmaster on April 25, 2008, 09:38:23 AM
Do you have to tape their breasts to stop them jiggling about too much when playing. I'm not hugely knowledgeable about women's football  ::) but it's something I've often wondered.
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Vulture on April 25, 2008, 09:45:49 AM
Do you have to tape their breasts to stop them jiggling about too much when playing. I'm not hugely knowledgeable about women's football  ::) but it's something I've often wondered.

Dear Dinosaur:  Just like blokes have jock straps for their wobbly bits and pieces, women have sports bras.
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Roger Kettle on April 25, 2008, 09:48:26 AM
I feared for this thread as soon as I read the heading.
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: The Peepmaster on April 25, 2008, 10:00:00 AM
We ought to have a thread on "Words that don't go together".

e.g. Women, Football.
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on April 25, 2008, 10:05:38 AM
Peepmaster, tact.
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Vulture on April 25, 2008, 10:18:14 AM
Peepmaster, tact.

Dinosaurs don't come with tact; just a big bum and a small head!
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: The Peepmaster on April 25, 2008, 10:56:52 AM
You're confusing me with  ::)
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Malc on April 25, 2008, 12:09:30 PM
Quote
Do you have to tape their breasts to stop them jiggling about too much when playing

Yes, I do. There's nothing sexual about it, they are like daughters to me.
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Vulture on April 25, 2008, 03:17:43 PM
You're confusing me with  ::)

Oh, I think not!  :D :D
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Malc on April 26, 2008, 12:35:19 PM
We won 3-0 today, against Souths Utd, a team which had beaten my team in a pre-season grading game.

I'm finding that coaching women is VERY different from coaching blokes, no matter what division.

Yes, I know that sounds obvious, but it became apparent to me today just how much I would have to run this team totally differently.

Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on April 26, 2008, 07:45:00 PM
Meaning you take this team out for a proper drink after the game?
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Malc on April 26, 2008, 09:10:33 PM
The great thing is this is a team who drive themselves to the games and don't have to ask their mum for money for a hot dog.
They also pay attention and actually act on what you teach them!
Two girls (...er, women, ladies, er... players) pulled off successful moves I had demonstrated in training on Wednesday, and asked me afterwards if I had noticed!

It's coaching HEAVEN, I tells yer!

Thus far, anyway,
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: The Peepmaster on April 26, 2008, 09:17:51 PM
The great thing is this is a team who drive themselves to the games and don't have to ask their mum for money for a hot dog.
They also pay attention and actually act on what you teach them!
Two girls (...er, women, ladies, er... players) pulled off successful moves I had demonstrated in training on Wednesday, and asked me afterwards if I had noticed!

It's coaching HEAVEN, I tells yer!

Thus far, anyway,

Wait 'til they pull you into the communal baths when you've won a trophy!
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on April 27, 2008, 12:24:41 AM
Two girls (...er, women, ladies, er... players) pulled off successful moves I had demonstrated in training on Wednesday, and asked me afterwards if I had noticed!


Well, if they had to ask...
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Malc on April 27, 2008, 02:27:34 PM
Quote
Wait 'til they pull you into the communal baths when you've won a trophy!
Silly boy! They won't have to pull me in!

I'll be wearing my bathers, obviously.
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Malc on May 03, 2008, 03:40:37 PM
My women's team played away in a cup game against a team called Peninsula today.
Whereas my team are Div 4, the opponents were Div 2 and the difference in class was quite marked, we went down 5-0.

This was despite a truly heroic performance from the girls, one of whom (Kelly) collapsed a couple of times and had to come off to inhale her asthma puffer.

I insisted that she did not go on again, but she assured me that she had recovered, and that the weather had become cooler, thus making it easier for her to run. She assured me that collapsing, retching and demanding her puffer was part of her usual modus operandi.
Kelly had been playing full back and had played a blinder, running down attacker after attacker, so I put her up front and told her to park her backside on the halfway line and chase no-one.

We only had eleven players, no subs, and at half time Danni said she had to go to a family function, she couldn't delay her father any longer so we went down to ten players.

Amanda had previously pulled her thigh in a six-a-side game with me on Friday, and it started acting up again, so she swapped jerseys with Renee (who was in goal) who then went to play striker. This caused a bit of a flutter amongst the men because Renee was wearing a very un-sports tiny bra. ;)

The girls tired badly towards the end, but they played with a lot of heart and spirit and some with not a little skill. Every male coach should look after a woman's side for at least one season, it's life-affirming.

Afterwards in the dressing room, I asked Amanda to make sure the team was dressed when I came to do my post match talk. She assured me all was fine.

I went in and half the team were in their undies! :-[ One dropped her shorts to reveal only a thong.

 Oh, and we actually were awarded the game because the other team fielded an illegal player from their womens Premier League side.

This job is turning out all right. ;D
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Colin on May 03, 2008, 04:00:23 PM
<I went in and half the team were in their undies!  One dropped her shorts to reveal only a thong>

Thats why they call it the beautiful game.  ;D
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: The Peepmaster on May 03, 2008, 05:39:12 PM
My women's team played away in a cup game against a team called Peninsula today.
Whereas my team are Div 4, the opponents were Div 2 and the difference in class was quite marked, we went down 5-0.

This was despite a truly heroic performance from the girls, one of whom (Kelly) collapsed a couple of times and had to come off to inhale her asthma puffer.

I insisted that she did not go on again, but she assured me that she had recovered, and that the weather had become cooler, thus making it easier for her to run. She assured me that collapsing, retching and demanding her puffer was part of her usual modus operandi.
Kelly had been playing full back and had played a blinder, running down attacker after attacker, so I put her up front and told her to park her backside on the halfway line and chase no-one.

We only had eleven players, no subs, and at half time Danni said she had to go to a family function, she couldn't delay her father any longer so we went down to ten players.

Amanda had previously pulled her thigh in a six-a-side game with me on Friday, and it started acting up again, so she swapped jerseys with Renee (who was in goal) who then went to play striker. This caused a bit of a flutter amongst the men because Renee was wearing a very un-sports tiny bra. ;)

The girls tired badly towards the end, but they played with a lot of heart and spirit and some with not a little skill. Every male coach should look after a woman's side for at least one season, it's life-affirming.

Afterwards in the dressing room, I asked Amanda to make sure the team was dressed when I came to do my post match talk. She assured me all was fine.

I went in and half the team were in their undies! :-[ One dropped her shorts to reveal only a thong.

 Oh, and we actually were awarded the game because the other team fielded an illegal player from their womens Premier League side.

This job is turning out all right. ;D

Blimey, Malc. What does the result matter? I'd call 'em in for extra training!
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: madjock on May 18, 2008, 09:23:05 AM
Do they swap shirts at the end of the game? ;D
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Malc on May 18, 2008, 11:55:10 AM
Hmmm. Never heard THAT one before ::)
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: The Peepmaster on May 18, 2008, 12:00:16 PM
Hmmm. Never heard THAT one before ::)

I think someone's sabotaged the roll-eyes smiley, Malc. I can't imagine who it could be! (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/rolleyes007.gif)

I had to borrow that one from somewhere else.
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Malc on May 18, 2008, 12:08:49 PM
Forgot to post my reports.

Last week we lost to top of the table Peninsula 1-0, we SHOULD have won, but a rather large lady was not closed down quickly enough, virtually our only mistake in defence that day, and she lobbed a speculative ball into the box.
She actually over-hit it and it looped over our goalie's head and into the net. I wasn't worried, as I felt we had the beating of them, but we copped two injuries and tired badly in the last fifteen minutes.

The ladies do play a full match, (90 mins) and I think that's at least ten minutes too long.

Today, we fought out a VERY thrilling draw 0-0 against Kangaroo Point Rovers, a top end side and as a result moved up to fifth in the table.
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Vulture on May 18, 2008, 12:10:00 PM
Well Done!
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Malc on May 18, 2008, 04:42:52 PM
One of the team asked me to strap her ankle today, as she had arrived late. I do know how to strap, as I've done a few courses and did so quickly and very well (though I say so meself).

Problem is, I have a thing for womens feet, as a lot of men do and probably got more out of it than she realised. Is that wrong? :-[

That's a question for the women. If you say it's wrong, I won't do it again. Probably.
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Diamond Lil on May 18, 2008, 05:21:47 PM

Problem is, I have a thing for womens feet, as a lot of men do and probably got more out of it than she realised. Is that wrong? :-[


Do you even have to ask?
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Vulture on May 18, 2008, 08:26:29 PM
One of the team asked me to strap her ankle today, as she had arrived late. I do know how to strap, as I've done a few courses and did so quickly and very well (though I say so meself).

Problem is, I have a thing for womens feet, as a lot of men do and probably got more out of it than she realised. Is that wrong? :-[

That's a question for the women. If you say it's wrong, I won't do it again. Probably.

It's such a shame you're so far away - I need a change of toe-nail varnish!  ::)
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: Malc on May 18, 2008, 10:05:15 PM
I've done a course in that.
Title: Re: My Ladies
Post by: The Peepmaster on May 18, 2008, 10:14:29 PM
One of the team asked me to strap her ankle today, as she had arrived late. I do know how to strap, as I've done a few courses and did so quickly and very well (though I say so meself).

Problem is, I have a thing for womens feet, as a lot of men do and probably got more out of it than she realised. Is that wrong? :-[

That's a question for the women. If you say it's wrong, I won't do it again. Probably.

It's such a shame you're so far away - I need a change of toe-nail varnish!  ::)

What a coincidence!