Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Mince on November 04, 2008, 02:49:31 PM

Title: Coffee
Post by: Mince on November 04, 2008, 02:49:31 PM
One of my students has just told me that she is drinking coffee and is only allowed three a week by her dad.

I asked her (Pssst!) if she wanted to buy some sachets from my secret stash.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Malc on November 04, 2008, 03:38:55 PM
Sachets? Bloody philistine!

There's no excuse for making bad coffee. Take a tip from this qualified Barista:

Buy yourself a dripolator (doesn't even have to be as sexy as the one below) and a battery-operated cream whisk or milk frother.

Then you pile lots of coffee into the upper part of the dripolator (far too much) and let the water drip through to make a VERY strong mix. It needs to be strong and very dark because the finished product will be 3/4 frothy milk.

In the meantime, stick a jug of milk in the microwave and heat until almost boiling. Use the milk whisk to beat the top into a very fine froth.

Pour the thick coffee so that it forms only about a quarter to a third at most of your cup.
Add the milk and sugar to taste. Make sure you use the frothy head of the milk to set off the look, piling it in last.

After a little practice you will wonder why you ever paid that extortionate amount at the local coffee bar when you can make better coffee at home

(http://www.breville.com.au/ssl/cms/images_cms/N_large_BCM120.jpg)

(http://fantes.com/images/8120milk_frothers.jpg)

Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Diane CBPFC on November 04, 2008, 04:46:32 PM
I had a fancy esspresso/latte maker - it took up too much space on the counter and I rarely used it (I'm a French press kinda person) - so I donated it to the library for the book club.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: The Peepmaster on November 04, 2008, 05:05:07 PM
I had a fancy esspresso/latte maker - it took up too much space on the counter and I rarely used it (I'm a French press kinda person) - so I donated it to the library for the book club.

Has it got a lot of words printed on it then? (Mine just says "on" and "off").
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Vulture on November 04, 2008, 07:26:43 PM
Sachets? Bloody philistine!

There's no excuse for making bad coffee. Take a tip from this qualified Barista:

Buy yourself a dripolator (doesn't even have to be as sexy as the one below) and a battery-operated cream whisk or milk frother.

Then you pile lots of coffee into the upper part of the dripolator (far too much) and let the water drip through to make a VERY strong mix. It needs to be strong and very dark because the finished product will be 3/4 frothy milk.

In the meantime, stick a jug of milk in the microwave and heat until almost boiling. Use the milk whisk to beat the top into a very fine froth.


NO! You really need an Espresso coffee machine: don't forget the Cadbury's drinking chocolate for Mocha, and lots of fat-free milk to make it 'healthy'. I have to agree about the whisk - the one that comes with the machine is useless! The coffee also tastes better if you sprinkle drinking chocolate on top of the froth.
 :-*

Pour the thick coffee so that it forms only about a quarter to a third at most of your cup.
Add the milk and sugar to taste. Make sure you use the frothy head of the milk to set off the look, piling it in last.

After a little practice you will wonder why you ever paid that extortionate amount at the local coffee bar when you can make better coffee at home

(http://www.breville.com.au/ssl/cms/images_cms/N_large_BCM120.jpg)

(http://fantes.com/images/8120milk_frothers.jpg)


Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: peter on November 04, 2008, 08:45:58 PM
Why dont you just make yourself a good cup of strong tea.
Stop mucking about.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Vulture on November 04, 2008, 09:30:53 PM
Why dont you just make yourself a good cup of strong tea.
Stop mucking about.

Because, Peter, I don't drink tea; it makes me sick!
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Joan on November 04, 2008, 10:24:05 PM
I had a fancy esspresso/latte maker - it took up too much space on the counter and I rarely used it (I'm a French press kinda person) - so I donated it to the library for the book club.

I've always resisted buying one of those machines, Diane. Although I've been offered one many times as a present by a desperate husband (desperate to find something for a present). Like you, I like my coffee just plain old straight with a little bit of milk in it, which is almost impossible to find when you go to a cafe here in Oz.  They only have espresso machines and a long black is just not the same.  I'm not averse to cappucino - yours sounds great, Malc, especially the strength - but much prefer plunger (I would think that's the same as french press) or filter.

As for instant ... if I'm offered that, I'll opt for tea.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Malc on November 05, 2008, 03:17:25 AM
Joan, a flat white should be just that -a flat white, just a little tight froth on top, just enough to keep it civilised.

Problem is, very few kids who work on coffee shops nowadays actually DRINK coffee (think back to when you were a kid - did you drink coffee? I didn't start until my mid twenties).

I trained as a barista a few years ago, just because the course was cheap and I was bored out of my skull. The guy who trained me told me that there was virtually no difference between a flat white, a latte and a capuccino, same amount of coffee, made in exactly the same way, the difference was in the frothy milk. Just stick chocolate powder on top for capuccino or chocolate powder in the mix for a mocha.

Coffee shops are a licence to print money nowadays, and I resent paying the money for some snooty young dweeb to patronize me.

I do have an espresso machine at home, by the way, and I use it occasionally but there's no substitute for the McGookin system if you have a number of coffee-loving guests who all want to be served quickly. I can make up to ten coffees at a time in one go, and very quickly.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Mince on November 05, 2008, 11:48:55 AM
I start a topic about a student who is not allowed more than three coffees a week, hoping for some kind of satire, and what do I get? Malc and his bloody coffee machine. I wish I had never mentioned sachets.

The next time Malc starts a topic about his ladies football team, I'm going to talk about the price of football boots.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on November 05, 2008, 01:15:41 PM
You can get some real bargains these days, and the choice is amazing. It's quite depressing however, buying football boots for the kids, knowing there's no point in buying a pair for yourself any more.

You hoped for satire from kids drinking coffee? You really do need to get out more, Mincey.

Malc, I appreciate the tuition, being an incurable coffee addict. I've never been satisfied by my own dripolator's performance, and you have identified several reasons why that might be. I'll dig it out of storage and give your methods a try.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Mince on November 05, 2008, 02:11:22 PM
You hoped for satire from kids drinking coffee?

Oh, I don't see you all as kids. Some of you have potential.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: The Peepmaster on November 05, 2008, 03:47:56 PM
Anyone who says we're kids, looks like a fat bottom and smells of cow-pats, ner ner ner nerrrrrrr! Mince is more like a tea-lady, anyway.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Diane CBPFC on November 05, 2008, 04:08:38 PM
This is why the Mormons banned coffee - causes way to many fights.

Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: The Peepmaster on November 05, 2008, 04:19:15 PM
This is why the Mormons banned coffee - causes way to many fights.



Mince is partway towards becoming a mormon.

I wasn't intending to cause a fight, Diane. I was just sticking up for Tarks.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: peter on November 05, 2008, 04:32:40 PM
Don.t you call my Mince a Moron Peepsy Weepsy
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Mince on November 05, 2008, 04:38:19 PM
I was just sticking up for Tarks.

The moronic sticking up for the stupid.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on November 05, 2008, 04:51:57 PM

I was just sticking up for Tarks.
Thanks, Peepsie. I needed that.  :'(
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on November 05, 2008, 04:54:03 PM
I was just sticking up for Tarks.

The moronic sticking up for the stupid.

I can't get the image out of my head of you shouting that from behind Peter's legs.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: The Peepmaster on November 05, 2008, 04:54:52 PM
I'll have you know Tarquin's got as much sense in his whole body as you've got in just one finger, so there. He's also got dignity, and doesn't revert to stupid name-calling. I admire him in a way.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: The Peepmaster on November 05, 2008, 04:56:35 PM
I like Peter's "Don.t", by the way.  :D
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on November 05, 2008, 04:59:09 PM
I'll have you know Tarquin's got as much sense in his whole body as you've got in just one finger, so there. He's also got dignity, and doesn't revert to stupid name-calling. I admire him in a way.

Thanks a bunch, Twonk!

Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: The Peepmaster on November 05, 2008, 05:00:46 PM
You're not alone, Tarquin.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Vulture on November 05, 2008, 08:25:37 PM
 :D :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Malc on November 05, 2008, 08:43:39 PM
Tarks, you won't regret adopting the McGookin method, my mission is to put the poncey coffee shops out of business by making it easier for people to make good coffee at home. I'm going for a kind of ersatz sainthood here, or at least gather a group of devoted followers, mostly good looking girls.

Mince, just you shut your smelly face.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Vulture on November 05, 2008, 09:25:30 PM
Tarks, you won't regret adopting the McGookin method, my mission is to put the poncey coffee shops out of business by making it easier for people to make good coffee at home. I'm going for a kind of ersatz sainthood here, or at least gather a group of devoted followers, mostly good looking girls.

Mince, just you shut your smelly face.

How does one 'shut one's smelly face'?
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: The Peepmaster on November 05, 2008, 09:40:29 PM
Tarks, you won't regret adopting the McGookin method, my mission is to put the poncey coffee shops out of business by making it easier for people to make good coffee at home. I'm going for a kind of ersatz sainthood here, or at least gather a group of devoted followers, mostly good looking girls.

Mince, just you shut your smelly face.

How does one 'shut one's smelly face'?

I suppose it would be difficult for him to turn it off, so shutting it's probably the next best thing, Vulch.

By the way, I thought it was sweet of Peter to come to Mince's defence earlier. A father's loyalty to his offspring.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Malc on November 05, 2008, 09:44:23 PM
...or a desperate ploy to avoid being put in a home.
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Vulture on November 05, 2008, 10:51:52 PM
...or a desperate ploy to avoid being put in a home.

By the sound of it, Peter would get more peace in a home.......!
Title: Re: Coffee
Post by: Malc on November 05, 2008, 11:14:28 PM
I agree. Homes are underrated. I've booked already.