Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Diane CBPFC on March 21, 2007, 03:04:35 PM
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First day of spring.
a poem by Diane C.B.P.F.C.
In England the daffodils are waving
Frantically in the breeze saying, ?look at me?,
And the tulips are warming the awakening flowerbeds
With their cheery red, lilac and yellow blooms.
In some places in the world, birds are chirping,
Singing their joyful springtime melody
Flittering about building nests and preparing
Their place in the abiding earth song.
In Paris, women in pink lipstick
Shop for sandals with a spring in their step
As the weak, warm sunshine gently caresses
Their shoulders and their hair.
But not here.
Here in Alberta, the snow is thigh deep
I wear clunky winter boots.
And throw snowballs at mangy moose.
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>:(
What about Scotland? >:(
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First day of spring - the Colin adaptation.
a poem by Diane C.B.P.F.C.
In England the daffodils are waving
Frantically in the breeze saying, ?look at me?,
And the tulips are warming the awakening flowerbeds
With their cheery red, lilac and yellow blooms.
In Scotland, birds are chirping,
Singing their joyful springtime melody
Flittering about building nests and preparing
Their place in the abiding earth song.
In Paris, women in pink lipstick
Shop for sandals with a spring in their step
As the weak, warm sunshine gently caresses
Their shoulders and their hair.
But not here.
Here in Alberta, the snow is thigh deep
I wear clunky winter boots.
And throw snowballs at mangy moose.
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A mooseterpiece.
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Spring came to Perthshire this morning
Off to work went I, sans vest
Bloody hell, thought I by lunchtime
As the snow hit my vestless chest
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What can I say, Sis? That's every bit as good as anything Mr. Diamond's done.
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My favourite spring poem isn't that lake district Daffodils nonsense, it's from the Bronx.
Spring has sprung,
Da grass is ris
I wonder where da boidies is?
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Our father (as in Roger's and mine) used to finish that with...
"The boird is on the wing
Now ain't that absoird
I always tot da wing was on da boird"
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...or "the burrd" as certain residents of Bute would have it.
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Down here in the Southern hemisphere, we're leaving Summer to come into Autumn. Summer in the sub tropics is bloody hot. It's not a poem, but here...
(http://www.cartoonaustralia.com/malk/pg%20devil%20xmas.gif)
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Some people say I have a spring in my step
But I actually have a spring in my arse
That's now missing from that decades-old sofa
That I sat down on way too fast.
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OK - not a "spring poem", but it is spring, and it is a poem (ish)
"The blackbird once was white as snow
But that was many years ago..."
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Talking about birds and poems, I liked this one.
I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his f***ing head.
I'm not a morning person
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That's beautiful, Colin. Sniffle!
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Though some would call it piffle.
D'you see what I'm doing here? I pretended Tarky's post was the first line of a limerick and then carried it on!!!!
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Yet some might not,
(Just following Roger's lead)
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And it touches the spot...
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I'm not doing the last line.
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To Lonnie Don', it's Skiffle!
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Bravo!
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There once was a man called Kettle . . .
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There once was a man called Kettle . . .
Who said to his agent, "I bet all...
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Every penny I've earned...
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Hmm - it stopped there as that line didn't really follow on correctly Tarks!
Here's a complete limerick I've writ in honour of the great man:
There once was a guy called Rog Kettle
Who rued (to himself), "Why the hell do all
Other folk - guys and dames,
Have normal-type names
And not kitchen goods made of metal.
...Apart from Derek Fridge-Magnet of Grimsby, that is.
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There once was a man called Kettle,
Who said to his agent, "I bet all,
Every penny I've earned,
That where drinks are concerned,
The Peepmaster's wallet is constructed of cast-iron metal."
Apology accepted, Peepsie. :P
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And "bet all" was a forced enough rhyme for Kettle - I'm not even going to comment on "hell do all". :P :P :P
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I agree, Tarky. "Kettle" and "Hell do all" is a shocking rhyme. I think he peaked with the "skiffle" line.
There was a young man from Bute
Who the local "burds" thought cute.
Can mass myopia
On this island Utopia
Be the reason they fall for this brute?
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A limerick's not hard to do -
You have to admit that is true.
The rhyme scheme's a doddle,
But get in your noddle
That scansion is a critical element too.
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I agree, Tarky. "Kettle" and "Hell do all" is a shocking rhyme. I think he peaked with the "skiffle" line.
There was a young man from Bute
Who the local "burds" thought cute.
Can mass myopia
On this island Utopia
Be the reason they fall for this brute?
Roger, I'm so flattered...
Don't forget, I was the guy who rhymed "Indian" with "Our Gran" once... (I wonder if I can dig out those old limericks...)
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What joy! I have found those old Wild West limericks of yore!...
An Indian chief called Stiff Breezy
In a wigwam had breakfasts quite greasy
He drank so much tea
That he needed to pee
But to pee in a teepee's not easy
George Michael and Ridgley, (the group "Wham")
On a tour, saw a sqaw by a wigwam,
The Chief saw them stare
At her long flowing hair
And said, "Can't you see it's a wig, Wham?"
This limerick's entitled "Gun Fight at the OK Corral".
Bang, bang, bang, ping, bang, Argggh! bang, bang, bang,
Bang, bang, Argggh! bang, ping, bang, bang, bang, bang,
Bang, Bang, Argggh! Bang, Bang,
Bang, Argggh! Bang, Bang, Bang,
Bang, bang, bang, bang, Argggh! bang, ping, bang, bang
There once was a sad Indian,
Who blubbered like hell to his Gran,
"I now can't send jokes
In signals of smoke,
'Cause Parliament's brought in a ban!"
Called up before General Custer
The Indian brave tried to bluster
That though he's been fined
Twenty quid, would they mind
If sixpence was all he could muster?
Lying wounded and prone 'neath the stars
(Gazing upwards at Venus and Mars),
Big Jed said to Tonto,
"Get help to me pronto,
These arrows are gonna leave scars!"
This Indian's Gran had an Uncle
(A fan of the great Art Garfunkle)
Who built (from his pension)
A wigwam extension
Prince Charles called a hideous carbuncle
That Indian's Gran's Uncle's Niece
Was notoriously difficult to please
They tried it with chocs,
Bright coloured socks,
And even a new pipe-of-peace
In an unfriendly bar near Black Canyon
A cowboy informed his companion
"The both of us thinks
The food in here stinks,
Why don't we pop out for an Indian?
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It's like being visited by old friends, Nige! I'm not afraid to admit there were tears in my eyes.
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Bang, bang, bang, ping, bang, Argggh! bang, bang, bang,
Bang, bang, Argggh! bang, ping, bang, bang, bang, bang,
Bang, Bang, Argggh! Bang, Bang,
Bang, Argggh! Bang, Bang, Bang,
Bang, bang, bang, bang, Argggh! bang, ping, bang, bang
I like that one!
Here's one of my efforts...
ahem...
The Peepmaster, Tarquin, and Roger
Set themselves a huge mind-dodger
"What rhymes with Kettle";
Well, let their minds settle
And finish this rhyme for me, yah!?!
sorry...
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"A HUGE MIND-DODGER"????
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I did say sorry...
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I'm away with a bid for a few days now. I've really enjoyed having this banter recently with you all, some of my most dear and trusted friends.
Please don't rob my house. I've asked my neighbours to keep an eye out in any case.
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You're away with a bid? What does that mean?
Is it a cross between away with the fairies and put in a bid? Or are you away with a biddy? A dear little old lady you won at auction?
Enquiring minds want to know.
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Malc, it's obvious that Nige missed out the letter "r" from the word "bid". He's off for a few days with a brid.
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Sorry, I meant "bird". I was typing in a hurry, and I had to pick her up to catch the ferry, and I couldn't remember which bird it was I was supposed to be taking.
I'm back now. Had a few days in sunny Torquay, and visited much of Devon, as well as the Lake District on the way back.
Thanks for not burgling my house.
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Thanks for not burgling my house.
I did, but I only took the valuable stuff. Managed to sprint all the way home.
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Thanks for not burgling my house.
I did, but I only took the valuable stuff. Managed to sprint all the way home.
Well done. Not everyone can walk (or sprint) on water! Try a ferry next time. :D
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Had a few days in sunny Torquay, and visited much of Devon, as well as the Lake District on the way back.
Is it just me, or does anyone else think he's using euphemisms? Either way, I'm turned on.
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Take a bow, Mr McGookin---most amusing.
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Had a few days in sunny Torquay, and visited much of Devon, as well as the Lake District on the way back.
Is it just me, or does anyone else think he's using euphemisms? Either way, I'm turned on.
;D ;D ;D
It's the Curse Of The Cartoonist...please make the visual imagery go away.....