Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Diane CBPFC on May 29, 2012, 02:23:21 AM

Title: Emergency jokes
Post by: Diane CBPFC on May 29, 2012, 02:23:21 AM
I have left it until the last minute. Our Toastmaster group is meeting tomorrow night for awards "37 minutes of humour" and pizza - the public has been invited!

Each of us needs a joke or two and I have nothing but a box of iris tubers to take in and share about.

Any brilliant jokes would be most appreciated.
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: Zesty White on May 29, 2012, 07:12:42 AM
Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the moooovies.

Brilliant I know.....
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: Diane CBPFC on May 29, 2012, 05:44:11 PM
Thanks. Perhaps I will bake some lemon meringue pies to take in to go along with that joke.
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: The Peepmaster on May 29, 2012, 09:36:24 PM
Or take a damp squib.
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: The Peepmaster on May 29, 2012, 09:55:52 PM
A lady cook in a Botany Centre canteen was given the honour of naming a new plant discovery just at the same moment as she was calling a customer across to collect his freshly prepared meal.

"As you have been working hard at this centre of excellence for 25 years, we'd like you to name this plant", said the head botanist.

"Irish Stew, Bert", she called out to her customer.

And so the plant, accidentally, acquired its name.
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: The Peepmaster on May 31, 2012, 01:45:48 PM
That's where you were all supposed to laugh...  ..0
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: Bilthehut on May 31, 2012, 02:49:15 PM
I would if I understood the 'Joke', 'pun', 'play on words', etc.  ... But I didn't.
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: Diane CBPFC on May 31, 2012, 03:20:21 PM
That's where you were all supposed to laugh...  ..0

I tried to understand it, I really did…are you sure the customer’s name was Bert?
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: The Peepmaster on May 31, 2012, 03:29:22 PM
That's where you were all supposed to laugh...  ..0

I tried to understand it, I really did…are you sure the customer’s name was Bert?

She named your Iris Tubers accidentally by calling out, "Irish Stew, Bert".
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: Diane CBPFC on May 31, 2012, 04:00:06 PM
That's where you were all supposed to laugh...  ..0

I tried to understand it, I really did…are you sure the customer’s name was Bert?

She named your Iris Tubers accidentally by calling out, "Irish Stew, Bert".

Oh, that would have been good to go with the iris tubers I was giving away!
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: Bilthehut on May 31, 2012, 05:28:50 PM
That's where you were all supposed to laugh...  ..0

I tried to understand it, I really did…are you sure the customer’s name was Bert?

She named your Iris Tubers accidentally by calling out, "Irish Stew, Bert".

It was the 't' on the end that confused me.  I was thinking 'I arrest you, Bert' as all previous incarnations (oh, I thought of a flower there!) of the 'irish stew' knock knock joke meant that.
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: The Peepmaster on May 31, 2012, 06:13:05 PM
That's where you were all supposed to laugh...  ..0

I tried to understand it, I really did…are you sure the customer’s name was Bert?

She named your Iris Tubers accidentally by calling out, "Irish Stew, Bert".

Oh, that would have been good to go with the iris tubers I was giving away!

Yes, I wrote it specially for you, to go with the custard-pie-in-the-face routine you had planned.
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: Malc on June 04, 2012, 02:20:59 AM
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the fox's mouth.

Do they appreciate rude jokes? I could make you the new Bernard Manning. Seeing as there's a vacancy.
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: Mince on June 08, 2012, 11:47:32 PM
Have you heard the joke about the boy who loved tractors?
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: The Peepmaster on June 09, 2012, 05:33:32 PM
Have you heard the joke about the boy who loved tractors?

Is this a trailer for it?  ???
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: Malc on June 10, 2012, 05:15:31 AM
If it's about the boy who loved tractors until one rolled over on his leg nearly killing him, and if it's the one where ho goes into a smokey pub, inhaling all the smoke and blowing it outside, informing the customers that he is an "ex tractor fan", yes I've heard it. Or I went and Googled it, rather.
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: Mince on June 11, 2012, 02:30:11 PM
Bastard!

Mind you, my version is cleaner and does not have the "ho" in it.
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: The Peepmaster on June 11, 2012, 08:38:39 PM
Great gag, Malc. Gave me a laugh.

:-D
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: Malc on June 13, 2012, 06:54:45 AM
It's not rude. Ho is a Chinese boy. Shame on you for poking fun at him. That's his full name. Ho Him.
Title: Re: Emergency jokes
Post by: The Peepmaster on June 13, 2012, 10:53:45 AM
It's not rude. Ho is a Chinese boy. Shame on you for poking fun at him. That's his full name. Ho Him.

Yes, HIM!