Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Redundant on March 02, 2016, 09:07:26 PM

Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...updated
Post by: Redundant on March 02, 2016, 09:07:26 PM
...this is a copy & paste excerpt of an e-mail I sent today for an accountancy job:

"I understand you have a vacancy for an accountant, as indicated on your website, personally I can't recommend it but if you really have to have one, I'm not a bad one.   I meet all the key attributes listed in the job specifications and also have experience in company administration and management, logistics and credit control.   I am attaching my Curriculum Vitae for your attention, and would very much appreciate the opportunity to meet with you should you consider my application favourably, if not it would probably be a pointless meeting."

I suspect this will not go far...
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...
Post by: Roger Kettle on March 02, 2016, 09:30:16 PM
I'd hire you.
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...
Post by: Mince on March 02, 2016, 09:58:26 PM
I'd interview you just for the fun of it.  ;D
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...
Post by: Redundant on March 02, 2016, 10:08:09 PM
Can you imagine how surreal an interview would be after that?   I suspect keeping a stupid grin off my face would be a non starter, and I'd probably bring back snickering...
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on March 02, 2016, 10:40:13 PM
Snickering's gone? You see? Nobody tells me anything!  >:(
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on March 03, 2016, 12:04:37 AM
As long as chortling is still allowed, I'll survive!
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...
Post by: Redundant on March 03, 2016, 01:48:13 AM
Snickering was out, but coming back in, chortling was never in, guffaws are mandatory except in cases of immediate bereavement, in which case show some respect and mildly titter.
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...
Post by: Egg on March 03, 2016, 11:00:05 AM
Snickering......to eat a chocolate bar full of peanuts!

Snickering / Sniggering....what's the difference?

Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on March 03, 2016, 11:17:02 AM
Sniggering is no longer PC. Nickers are permissible.
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...updated
Post by: Redundant on March 09, 2016, 04:41:13 PM
I realise this may come as a shock to some, but incredibly I didn't make it to the interview stage.  Apparently this was due to "the wide range of applicants"   Seriously, a wide range of...Accountants?   There's dour, and then there's boring, and then there's dour and boring, that's it.

And who tells a man hitting sixty this year that "...they will keep his CV on file"!?   You can imagine updating that file..."dead"..."dead"..."coma"..."dead"..."senile"..."married Jerry Hall"..."missing"..."nearly dead"...
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...updated
Post by: Diane CBPFC on March 09, 2016, 05:58:33 PM
Their loss - you would have added some life to the office.
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...updated
Post by: Redundant on March 09, 2016, 07:10:27 PM
Thank you Diane, that was kind of you.   I am debating sending them the link to this post, as a final swansong to the application, test their sense of humour  :)
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...updated
Post by: Roger Kettle on March 09, 2016, 07:50:44 PM
Red, I must admit that I burst out laughing at the "married Jerry Hall" bit!
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...updated
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on March 09, 2016, 08:01:09 PM
And I mustn't admit that I did too. He's a misunderstood pussycat really, is my boss.
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...updated
Post by: Redundant on March 09, 2016, 08:16:47 PM
It was a punchline waiting to happen, glad I managed it, I almost wanted to check the date when I read the news article, to make sure it wasn't April 1st, that's a pre-nuptial agreement I'd love to see...Tarqs???
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...updated
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on March 09, 2016, 11:36:14 PM
...that's a pre-nuptial agreement I'd love to see...Tarqs???

Don't look at me. I'm his cartoonist, not his lawyer.  :-X
Title: Re: I think I'm losing the plot...updated
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on March 10, 2016, 08:38:40 PM
Mark me down as number 3 for the "married Jerry Hall" fan club! Excellent.

I maybe shouldn't laugh to much at present as I am now one of the unemployed masses myself, and at 47, don't want to have my CV updated to "looks close to marrying Jerry Hall".

 ;)