Re: I think I'm losing the plot...updated

[Redundant]

...this is a copy & paste excerpt of an e-mail I sent today for an accountancy job:

"I understand you have a vacancy for an accountant, as indicated on your website, personally I can't recommend it but if you really have to have one, I'm not a bad one.   I meet all the key attributes listed in the job specifications and also have experience in company administration and management, logistics and credit control.   I am attaching my Curriculum Vitae for your attention, and would very much appreciate the opportunity to meet with you should you consider my application favourably, if not it would probably be a pointless meeting."

I suspect this will not go far...

[Roger Kettle]

I'd hire you.

[Mince]

I'd interview you just for the fun of it. 

[Redundant]

Can you imagine how surreal an interview would be after that?   I suspect keeping a stupid grin off my face would be a non starter, and I'd probably bring back snickering...

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Snickering's gone? You see? Nobody tells me anything! 

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

As long as chortling is still allowed, I'll survive!

[Redundant]

Snickering was out, but coming back in, chortling was never in, guffaws are mandatory except in cases of immediate bereavement, in which case show some respect and mildly titter.

[Egg]

Snickering......to eat a chocolate bar full of peanuts!

Snickering / Sniggering....what's the difference?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Sniggering is no longer PC. Nickers are permissible.

[Redundant]

I realise this may come as a shock to some, but incredibly I didn't make it to the interview stage.  Apparently this was due to "the wide range of applicants"   Seriously, a wide range of...Accountants?   There's dour, and then there's boring, and then there's dour and boring, that's it.

And who tells a man hitting sixty this year that "...they will keep his CV on file"!?   You can imagine updating that file..."dead"..."dead"..."coma"..."dead"..."senile"..."married Jerry Hall"..."missing"..."nearly dead"...

[Diane CBPFC]

Their loss - you would have added some life to the office.

[Redundant]

Thank you Diane, that was kind of you.   I am debating sending them the link to this post, as a final swansong to the application, test their sense of humour 

[Roger Kettle]

Red, I must admit that I burst out laughing at the "married Jerry Hall" bit!

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

And I mustn't admit that I did too. He's a misunderstood pussycat really, is my boss.

[Redundant]

It was a punchline waiting to happen, glad I managed it, I almost wanted to check the date when I read the news article, to make sure it wasn't April 1st, that's a pre-nuptial agreement I'd love to see...Tarqs???