Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Roger Kettle on September 19, 2016, 09:02:04 PM
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I was born on the 23rd of June, 1951, in Glasgow. It was a Monday which explains the "fairness of my face". My father wasn't present at the birth because he was in Haiti. (He was the only child of a French mother and an English father and was born in St. Thomas in the American Virgin Islands). My mother was Scottish from a Scottish/Orcadian background. I then moved to Haiti to join my father, accompanied by my mother and my sister (who, earlier, had been born in the Dominican Republic). Returning to Scotland (Haiti's dictator, Papa Doc, was not a huge fan of foreigners), I ended up in Dalwhinnie in the Highlands after brief spells in Glasgow and Perthshire. All this by the time I was six. I was educated at Dalwhinnie Primary School and Inverness Royal Academy (where I starred in the football team, winning the North of Scotland league and cup in 1969). I can't say that I starred academically but passed the required exams to get to university. However, after deciding I was far too lazy to spend several years studying, I joined The Topper in Dundee and began writing stuff like Beryl the Peril. Then I met Andrew Christine, who was to become a lifelong friend and partner in the world of comic strips. We did stuff and are still doing stuff.
In my mid-thirties, I learned how to breed and, with the help of a wonderful woman that I've now known for 39 years, I became the father of two little beings who became the lights of my life. Not now, of course. They left home ages ago and are now just annoying. (Joking!)
I've seen the Eiffel Tower and the one that leans in Pisa. I've seen Mount Rushmore in South Dakota and the Little Mermaid in Copenhagen. I've eaten snails in Nice and lobster in Boston, not to mention pies in Dundee. I've met Bill Clinton, Margaret Thatcher, Richard Branson, Brian May and the podgy one from the Likely Lads. (None of this is particularly impressive. The last four on the list were all at Daily Star Awards ceremonies I was invited to. It's not like they've been round my house for a booze-up.)
Since it's been quiet on here, I thought I'd tell you about my life. That's it.
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Yes, the "did stuff" is basically why we're here on this site, because it's funny stuff. If I could make a living off the stupid rubbish that comes into my head (though I'm sure it involves more than this), I'd be dead happy.
I realised, once I installed a package that shows the avatar for the topic starter, that I have started a few too many topics. So I decided that at least for the next year, I would just respond to the topics started by others and stop turning this board into a debate club about home schooling, plant-based diets and the television licence.
Anyway, Roger, in response to the biography, and given the sheer number of amazing things you've seen and done, I was wondering what the weather was like up there.
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Mild, dry and completely windless.
I'm scared.
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Mild, dry and completely windless.
And the weather?
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I thought I said something nice yesterday about your life summary, but I don't see it today. It seems that life has worked out well for you, getting out of dangerous places and having the good fortune to be born in Glasgow.
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... getting out of dangerous places and having the good fortune to be born in Glasgow.
I think Glasgow is probably another of those dangerous places. ;D
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I was born on the 23rd of June, 1951, in Glasgow. It was a Monday which explains the "fairness of my face". My father wasn't present at the birth because he was in Haiti. (He was the only child of a French mother and an English father and was born in St. Thomas in the American Virgin Islands). My mother was Scottish from a Scottish/Orcadian background. I then moved to Haiti to join my father, accompanied by my mother and my sister (who, earlier, had been born in the Dominican Republic). Returning to Scotland (Haiti's dictator, Papa Doc, was not a huge fan of foreigners), I ended up in Dalwhinnie in the Highlands after brief spells in Glasgow and Perthshire. All this by the time I was six. I was educated at Dalwhinnie Primary School and Inverness Royal Academy (where I starred in the football team, winning the North of Scotland league and cup in 1969). I can't say that I starred academically but passed the required exams to get to university. However, after deciding I was far too lazy to spend several years studying, I joined The Topper in Dundee and began writing stuff like Beryl the Peril. Then I met Andrew Christine, who was to become a lifelong friend and partner in the world of comic strips. We did stuff and are still doing stuff.
In my mid-thirties, I learned how to breed and, with the help of a wonderful woman that I've now known for 39 years, I became the father of two little beings who became the lights of my life. Not now, of course. They left home ages ago and are now just annoying. (Joking!)
I've seen the Eiffel Tower and the one that leans in Pisa. I've seen Mount Rushmore in South Dakota and the Little Mermaid in Copenhagen. I've eaten snails in Nice and lobster in Boston, not to mention pies in Dundee. I've met Bill Clinton, Margaret Thatcher, Richard Branson, Brian May and the podgy one from the Likely Lads. (None of this is particularly impressive. The last four on the list were all at Daily Star Awards ceremonies I was invited to. It's not like they've been round my house for a booze-up.)
Since it's been quiet on here, I thought I'd tell you about my life. That's it.
388 words, and I don't get a single mention? :\
Should I have known you were a fellow native Weegie? Were you also a Rottenrow Boy? I got out when I was two, and like you, my family agreed to go with me. Unlike you, I didn't end up in Haiti, but Glenrothes. But to a 2-year-old, there's not a lot of difference.
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Forgot to mention I've met Steve Bright. (Didn't want to age you by telling everyone we've been friends for about 35 years!)
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Forgot to mention I've met Steve Bright.
aka the creator of Bananarama.
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Someone had to.
Forgot to mention I've met Steve Bright. (Didn't want to age you by telling everyone we've been friends for about 35 years!)
We met at Kindergarten, natch.
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I've met Bill Clinton, Margaret Thatcher, Richard Branson, Brian May and the podgy one from the Likely Lads. (None of this is particularly impressive.
You met Brian May?
You met Brian May?
And you say none of this is particularly impressive ? The man is a God. :o :o :o
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Pffft! He's no Bananarama now, is he?! ..0
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Sandy, the guy was ridiculously nice, as was his wife, Anita Dobson. Back in the 90's, the Daily Star hosted awards ceremonies to celebrate the achievements of the general public and Andrew and I used to get invited along. After the main do, at the likes of the the London Savoy, there would be a private room set aside for the celebrities to enjoy further free drinks. For some reason, Andrew and I were allowed to join them. Anyway, on one occasion, we ended up next to Brian and Anita and had a great time. On learning that Andrew's daughter was studying at RADA and wanted to be an actress, Anita disappeared for ten minutes before returning with a lengthy, hand-written letter of encouragement for her. Obviously, she had absolutely no need to to do this. What a classy touch. Brian kept in contact with us for years, exchanging the latest Queen albums for the latest Beau Peep books. I treasure a letter from him which said he was "glad to see you're as off-the-wall as ever". A huge talent and, even better, a hugely nice guy.
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I saw the Queen once during her Silver Jubilee tour - she drove through our town. All the kids were let out of school to see her. She drove by in a black limo - unfortunately she was waving to the gits on the other side of the street.
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I saw the Queen once during her Silver Jubilee tour - she drove through our town. All the kids were let out of school to see her. She drove by in a black limo - unfortunately she was waving to the gits on the other side of the street.
That'd be me then. Diane. She drove down our terrace the same year (1977), on her way to an event at the local sports centre (I think she planted a tree, although I suspect the hole was pre-dug for her). I had a great view from our 4th floor flat, and waved to her glass roofed limo. She winked back, and gave me the thumbs up. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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PS...I'm currently in my car at Morrison's car park in Ormskirk, enjoying a pastrami and Emmenthal sandwich for my tea, before doing a live caricature gig a couple of miles away. I'm sure i saw her at Checkout number 5. She was working hard, as always.
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She winked back, and gave me the thumbs up. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
You're sure she didn't just give you the middle finger?
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Oh, how different my life could have turned out if I too had got a thumbs up. (y)
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That reminds me of the time Roger fainted. Now I know Roger will deny that, and all I am about to tell you, but in truth, behind the scenes of Cameldung, we occasionally chat by PM. Anyway, Roger has talked about meeting Clinton before, so I told him that not only had I met Clinton, but that he was a good friend. Roger didn't believe me, so I visited Roger at his home, Kettle Towers, and Skyped Bill Clinton right in front of him. Bill said hello to me immediately but did not remember Roger.
I then told Roger that I was friends with everyone, even Tom Cruise, the Queen, and Steve Bright1. He didn't believe me until I again Skyped each one in front of him. Then I told him that I was friends with the Pope, and Roger just laughed. Now since the Pope does not do Skype, Roger and I flew to Rome and mingled with the masses assembled outside the Vatican. I told Roger to stay where he was while I sneaked in and saw the Pope. Doing so was easy, since all the guards knew me, and the Pope was so happy to see me that he asked me to appear on the balcony with him for everyone to see, including Roger.
Anyway, when I got back to Roger, he had fainted. After he came round, I asked him what happened. Roger told me: "It was the final straw! You and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, 'Who the hell is that on the balcony with Mince?'"
1 £50 by first class should do.
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Not being privileged enough to meet Kettle, Mince, Bright, The Pope or even Buttcheeks (sorry Diane,
you're too far away) I did meet Charlie Dimmock in Tel Aviv Airport of all places, and, I was once a
double page spread in Woman's Own!
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I was once a double page spread in Woman's Own!
I found that the small pots of butter that I stole from bed and breakfasts were not enough to cover a whole page of Woman's Own, so I bought the large tubs from the supermarket which were easily double-page spreads.
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What is Skype?
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What is Skype?
Its an island, alphabetically (but not geographically), close to Skye.
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Close? There's loads of works between Skye and Skype.
Skye
skyhook
skyjacking
skylight
skylark
skylike
skyline
Skype
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Sandy, the guy was ridiculously nice, as was his wife, Anita Dobson. Back in the 90's, the Daily Star hosted awards ceremonies to celebrate the achievements of the general public and Andrew and I used to get invited along. After the main do, at the likes of the the London Savoy, there would be a private room set aside for the celebrities to enjoy further free drinks. For some reason, Andrew and I were allowed to join them. Anyway, on one occasion, we ended up next to Brian and Anita and had a great time. On learning that Andrew's daughter was studying at RADA and wanted to be an actress, Anita disappeared for ten minutes before returning with a lengthy, hand-written letter of encouragement for her. Obviously, she had absolutely no need to to do this. What a classy touch. Brian kept in contact with us for years, exchanging the latest Queen albums for the latest Beau Peep books. I treasure a letter from him which said he was "glad to see you're as off-the-wall as ever". A huge talent and, even better, a hugely nice guy.
A privileged life you've led, Mr K.
I'm glad he was a delight. I can't picture him any other way to be honest. The guy has been an absolute hero of mine (and millions of others, of course!) since my brother started buying Queen LP's. The craftsmanship on the early albums in particular, is still stunning 4 decades later. The opening riff of "Keep Yourself Alive", the first track of their first album is simply amazing.
Anyhoo...I could talk Mr Mays guitaring for ever and a day, but I wont. I will leave the board with simply this...
Kettle...ya jammy git !!
;D
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Close? There's loads of works between Skye and Skype.
Skye
skyhook
skyjacking
skylight
skylark
skylike
skyline
Skype
I don't recognise any of those works as being islands?
Morag..."Where are we sailing to today, Angus?"
Angus..."I thought we'd sail over to the island of Skyhook"
Morag..."And where is that, Angus?"
Angus..."How the f@@k should I know, Morag. It was made up by a Sassenach"
..0
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A privileged life you've led, Mr K.
Kettle...ya jammy git !!
;D
Pfft! I've never been much in awe of celebrities. Marty Feldman once warned that you should never meet your heroes. Apparently he met Groucho Marx and all the man did was talk about his bowels. And Charlie Parker did nothing but talk about snooker. Mind you, Marty was beaten up in Cardiff by a Scottish dwarf when he was 21.
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Brian May isn't a celebrity, as far as I'm concerned. He's a guitar genius and one quarter of the greatest group ever. I'll leave the "celebrity" status for those who crave fame, and not for the supremely talented that have enriched the lives of millions by gifting us with words and music that will, as they say, "live forever".
Am I in awe of him? Yes, and happy to admit it.
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Sandy loves Brian! Sandy loves Brian!
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Truly, madly, deeply... :-*
Actually, is that the best you can do? Is this what you've dragged the board down to? A sensible conversation between two board members and you hijack it and ridicul......
Hang on. That's what we all do, isn't it?
:P
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Is this what you've dragged the board down to?
This coming from you? :o
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Sandy, the guy was ridiculously nice, as was his wife, Anita Dobson. Back in the 90's, the Daily Star hosted awards ceremonies to celebrate the achievements of the general public and Andrew and I used to get invited along. After the main do, at the likes of the the London Savoy, there would be a private room set aside for the celebrities to enjoy further free drinks. For some reason, Andrew and I were allowed to join them. Anyway, on one occasion, we ended up next to Brian and Anita and had a great time. On learning that Andrew's daughter was studying at RADA and wanted to be an actress, Anita disappeared for ten minutes before returning with a lengthy, hand-written letter of encouragement for her. Obviously, she had absolutely no need to to do this. What a classy touch. Brian kept in contact with us for years, exchanging the latest Queen albums for the latest Beau Peep books. I treasure a letter from him which said he was "glad to see you're as off-the-wall as ever". A huge talent and, even better, a hugely nice guy.
Fantastic affirmation of two of the nicest celebrities there are. It's rare that people have this effect on others - and I think it's a fantastic anecdote to have shared with your fans.
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... I think it's a fantastic anecdote to have shared with your fans.
What? He's told them too? Both of them?
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What? He's told them too? Both of them?
He's told them two?
Watch your spelling.
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What? He's told them too? Both of them?
He's told them two?
Watch your spelling.
I thought the idea of a holiday was to come back refreshed, batteries recharged, a little
less tense and somewhat carefree, Muncey.
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I am recharged. That's why I'm helping Tarks to annoy Roger. :)
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Pfft! I've been managing to annoy Roger for nigh on 40 years without your help, Mincey, thanks all the same. :\