Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: The Peepmaster on December 23, 2007, 05:59:57 PM

Title: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: The Peepmaster on December 23, 2007, 05:59:57 PM
What an awful thought. We're having goose.

Anyway, what's happened to Mince lately? He's gone very quiet. Did someone upset him?
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Mince on December 23, 2007, 06:14:41 PM
He's been busy doing free lessons. Then he's been busy setting corrections for students and marking essays. Then he's been busy reprogramming parts of his student board so that the students know how much they have to post. Then he's been busy enjoying himself for the afternoon. Now he's up-to-date (mostly) and busy watching Noel's Christmas Presents on Sky One.
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: The Peepmaster on December 23, 2007, 06:22:09 PM
How do you know all that?
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Mince on December 23, 2007, 06:23:46 PM
I've been watching him through binoculars.
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Roger Kettle on December 23, 2007, 06:33:22 PM
I hate binoculars.They're stupid. I posted about this on here years ago and can't be bothered to go through it all again.
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Mince on December 23, 2007, 06:35:06 PM
I hate binoculars.They're stupid. I posted about this on here years ago and can't be bothered to go through it all again.

You've got me curious now. Were you once attacked by a pair?
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: The Peepmaster on December 23, 2007, 06:39:42 PM
I hate binoculars.They're stupid. I posted about this on here years ago and can't be bothered to go through it all again.

You've got me curious now. Were you once attacked by a pair?

No, just the one.
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Roger Kettle on December 23, 2007, 07:00:44 PM
Oh, all right.
As I said, they're stupid. When someone uses them in the movies, on screen, you see two perfect circles of visual clarity. When I use them, I see two smudges of virtually bugger all. And, before the replies I got last time are repeated....yes, I'm looking through the right end...no, I'm not looking into a kaleidoscope...and, yes, I've taken the caps off.
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: The Peepmaster on December 23, 2007, 07:06:25 PM
Oh, all right.
As I said, they're stupid. When someone uses them in the movies, on screen, you see two perfect circles of visual clarity. When I use them, I see two smudges of virtually bugger all. And, before the replies I got last time are repeated....yes, I'm looking through the right end...no, I'm not looking into a kaleidoscope...and, yes, I've taken the caps off.

I seem to recall you're not very technically minded, Roger. Did you remember to release the twincastric slider-switch to align the sub-lens pratchets, and correlate the aft-prisms?
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Vulture on December 23, 2007, 07:34:36 PM
Oh, all right.
As I said, they're stupid. When someone uses them in the movies, on screen, you see two perfect circles of visual clarity. When I use them, I see two smudges of virtually bugger all. And, before the replies I got last time are repeated....yes, I'm looking through the right end...no, I'm not looking into a kaleidoscope...and, yes, I've taken the caps off.

I seem to recall you're not very technically minded, Roger. Did you remember to release the twincastric slider-switch to align the sub-lens pratchets, and correlate the aft-prisms?

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Diane CBPFC on December 23, 2007, 07:50:10 PM
Maybe you accidentally picked up a pair of those left-handed binoculars Roger.
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Mince on December 23, 2007, 07:57:11 PM
You do know which is your left hand, don't you, Roger?
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Roger Kettle on December 23, 2007, 08:16:15 PM
It's the one I smack smug gits with.
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Mince on December 23, 2007, 08:22:39 PM
Peepmaster's annoying but I wouldn't go so far as to say he's smug.
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: The Peepmaster on December 23, 2007, 08:33:16 PM
You do know which is your left hand, don't you, Roger?

Roger's not a complete idiot. You tell him which is his right hand, and he works it out for himself.
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Mince on December 23, 2007, 08:42:09 PM
You do know which is your left hand, don't you, Roger?

Roger's not a complete idiot. You tell him which is his right hand, and he works it out for himself.

What about that time he asked to phone a friend?
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: The Peepmaster on December 23, 2007, 08:45:38 PM
You do know which is your left hand, don't you, Roger?

Roger's not a complete idiot. You tell him which is his right hand, and he works it out for himself.

...he asked to phone a friend?

You've overlooked the obvious flaw.  ::)
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Roger Kettle on December 23, 2007, 09:55:03 PM
Oh, girls, stop it! It's Christmas!
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Mince on December 23, 2007, 09:56:26 PM
Yes, girls, stop it! He's having enough trouble with me and Peeps. And his left hand.
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: The Peepmaster on December 23, 2007, 09:58:00 PM
Quite right, Roger. We should put a stop to this merciless baiting...






until... isn't it January 7th most people start back?
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Roger Kettle on December 23, 2007, 10:19:47 PM
Well, I'll be working tomorrow and then start again on Boxing Day but that's not the point. Are you really having goose on Christmas Day, Peeps? That's pretty impressive. I can just see you leaning out the window of your castle and shouting to a passing urchin "Get me the largest goose on Bute, boy! Here's a guinea and keep the change!"
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: The Peepmaster on December 23, 2007, 10:25:54 PM
You're just after the sympathy vote there, Roger! Yes, I've ordered a goose from the butcher. Picking it up tomorrow. Drove round the island today to enjoy the sunshine, and went past a field full of resting Greylags!
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Vulture on December 23, 2007, 10:26:04 PM
Should we be calling Peeps "the Scroogester?"
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: The Peepmaster on December 23, 2007, 10:31:17 PM
Not sure if you can shoot Greylags anyway (or if they're edible).
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: Roger Kettle on December 23, 2007, 11:01:45 PM
Forgive me if I've told this story before. Absolutely true.
I grew up in the Highlands where it was common to go out and shoot your supper, particularly if you were a bit short of a bob or two. One of the great local characters had done exactly that but, unable to find anything straightforward like a rabbit or duck, he'd shot a swan. He talked about it the following night in the pub and his mate had reacted in horror.
" You can't shoot swans---they're protected!"
The answer, after a slight pause, was perfect.
" Well, they might be protected but they're not ******* bulletproof."
Title: Re: Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.
Post by: peter on December 24, 2007, 09:52:58 AM
When I was a young lad we had goose one year. My mother asked me to hold the pan whilst she took it out.
I dropped the pan on the floor and mother was left holding the goose with no place to put it.
Swearing at me for being so clumsy.
It took me five minutes to explain to her that as she had picked up the goose all the hot fat had run out onto my arm.
No sorry just her going on about being clumsy and look at the mess on the floor.