Having Mince For Christmas Dinner.

[The Peepmaster]

What an awful thought. We're having goose.

Anyway, what's happened to Mince lately? He's gone very quiet. Did someone upset him?

[Mince]

He's been busy doing free lessons. Then he's been busy setting corrections for students and marking essays. Then he's been busy reprogramming parts of his student board so that the students know how much they have to post. Then he's been busy enjoying himself for the afternoon. Now he's up-to-date (mostly) and busy watching Noel's Christmas Presents on Sky One.

[The Peepmaster]

How do you know all that?

[Mince]

I've been watching him through binoculars.

[Roger Kettle]

I hate binoculars.They're stupid. I posted about this on here years ago and can't be bothered to go through it all again.

[Mince]

I hate binoculars.They're stupid. I posted about this on here years ago and can't be bothered to go through it all again.

You've got me curious now. Were you once attacked by a pair?

[The Peepmaster]

I hate binoculars.They're stupid. I posted about this on here years ago and can't be bothered to go through it all again.

You've got me curious now. Were you once attacked by a pair?

No, just the one.

[Roger Kettle]

Oh, all right.
As I said, they're stupid. When someone uses them in the movies, on screen, you see two perfect circles of visual clarity. When I use them, I see two smudges of virtually bugger all. And, before the replies I got last time are repeated....yes, I'm looking through the right end...no, I'm not looking into a kaleidoscope...and, yes, I've taken the caps off.

[The Peepmaster]

Oh, all right.
As I said, they're stupid. When someone uses them in the movies, on screen, you see two perfect circles of visual clarity. When I use them, I see two smudges of virtually bugger all. And, before the replies I got last time are repeated....yes, I'm looking through the right end...no, I'm not looking into a kaleidoscope...and, yes, I've taken the caps off.

I seem to recall you're not very technically minded, Roger. Did you remember to release the twincastric slider-switch to align the sub-lens pratchets, and correlate the aft-prisms?

[Vulture]

Oh, all right.
As I said, they're stupid. When someone uses them in the movies, on screen, you see two perfect circles of visual clarity. When I use them, I see two smudges of virtually bugger all. And, before the replies I got last time are repeated....yes, I'm looking through the right end...no, I'm not looking into a kaleidoscope...and, yes, I've taken the caps off.

I seem to recall you're not very technically minded, Roger. Did you remember to release the twincastric slider-switch to align the sub-lens pratchets, and correlate the aft-prisms?

 

[Diane CBPFC]

Maybe you accidentally picked up a pair of those left-handed binoculars Roger.

[Mince]

You do know which is your left hand, don't you, Roger?

[Roger Kettle]

It's the one I smack smug gits with.

[Mince]

Peepmaster's annoying but I wouldn't go so far as to say he's smug.

[The Peepmaster]

You do know which is your left hand, don't you, Roger?

Roger's not a complete idiot. You tell him which is his right hand, and he works it out for himself.