Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: The Peepmaster on September 23, 2008, 09:13:07 PM
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Mince has been one of the main helpers on this forum, and most of us appreciate that, of course.
He also gives the impression of being quite intelligent, and I've had the idea that we could maybe tap-into that reservoir of knowledge by posing questions that up until now have had us vexed.
Any questions for Mince?
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Can you explain the off-side rule?
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Can you explain the off-side rule?
If this is anything to do with football, expect a dignified silence (or a lot of swearing).
In fact, if it is any sport whatsoever - ditto - (except tennis) - (or Michelle Pfeiffer!)
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I'm confused. Is Michelle Pfeiffer a sport now?
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I'm confused. Is Michelle Pfeiffer a sport now?
That's a good question! Mince....?
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Mince is lying low. We need something to arouse him. Could someone post some grammatical errors or something?
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I'm confused. Is Michelle Pfeiffer a sport now?
Mince is under the delusion that Michelle Pfeiffer is stalking him!
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I can't get the song "Soldier, Soldier" out of my head.
Oh soldier, soldier, won't you marry me
With your musket, pfeiffer, drum?
Oh no, pretty maid, I cannot marry you,
For I have no coat to put on.
So off she went to her grandfathers chest
And she brought him a coat of the very very best...
Anyway, the pretty maid ends up responding to the soldier's constant whinging by placating him with other items obtained from her grandfather's chest until finally he devastates her with the news that he is, in fact, already married and is therefore not available.
A tenuous link with Michell Pfeiffer, I know.
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"Soldier, marry me and bring your musket!"
"I can't. I don't have a coat."
This is a truly great song.
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Nice to have a maid. You'd think he could have sent her out to get him a coat though.
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Once upon a memory I was in the boys choir at Clydebank High School and the choir was to sing in the Glasgow festival of music.
The songs that year (you had to perform two) were.. the witch.... uh something, can't recall this at all.
However the other was along the lines of "Oh where have you been Billy boy Billy boy? Oh where have you been OH darling Billy?
The title may have had Billy in it.
Billy goes on to explain his new found love is "twice six, twice seven, twice twenty and eleven, she's a young thing and cannot leave her mother"
perhaps she could tie up with the soldier soldier dude with his musket.?
I only mention this because of brain worms, songs that get hooked in there and won't go away.
With Seattle Kate, a Scambell waded up to her in a warm Caribbean sea and sang the Mr Hankie the Christmas Poo song to her, knowing for the rest of the holiday it would be lodged into her brain........ and it was.......
However now things have changed, Scambell has a grand daughter of great beauty who lives on the Isle of Bute, said wee one is just past two years and has a love of "In the night garden".
Her grampa Scambell got her the Night Garden CD and played it for her all of last Saturday as he took her and the clan to Blair Drummond Safari park and wallet emptier.
Scambell has woken up in the last three days singing........ "Yes my name is Iggle Piggle, Iggle wiggle Piggle Iggle Piggle, yes my name is Iggle Piggle Iggle wiggle wiggle woo".
I have now taken to singing it in the office, initially the guys though it was funny, but now I believe there's a price on my head (10 shillings and 6 pence in this style).
My fear is now I can remember the Macka Packa song....... HELP!!!!!!!!!
For those of you who don't know of "In the night garden" think, Tele tubbies writers, but this time on crack cocaine. :-\
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Mmmm....mmm...Billy, don't be a hero...don't be a fool with your li-i-ife........
Billy, don't be a hero, come back and make me your..............curse you, Max!......
And as Billy started to go-oh.........
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Max, regarding work and singing ? I suggest you pull a Kojack and take some lollipops to work until your current Iggle wiggle Piggle Iggle Piggle phase is over.
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Okay, I have a sensible question for Mince.
Several years ago we bought a cool Galileo thermometer. Over the years the inside liquid (I assume it?s water) has evaporated through the glass and is now down 2cm from it?s original level. Will the temperature bubbles that rise still be accurate?
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Here's another question: How do you spell Kojack?
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Kojack is without the "c".
And the thermometer is without the ?c
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Oo! Clever!
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No wonder he's a artoonist.
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Mince without the 'c' is Mine ... ALL MINE! (exits stage left cackling maniacally)
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Here's another question: How do you spell Kojack?
Surely you spell it 'Kojack' otherwise you would have spelt it differently.
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That's our Peter - the man to whom irony comes right after laundry.
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That's our Peter - the man to whom irony comes right after laundry.
Don't know what you are talking about the other half does all that.
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Mince does your laundry?
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Mince does your laundry?
His Mam does his laundry. He keeps coming home when he runs out of cloths.
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Dish cloths?
No, hang on...we're going round in circles now....
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Mince does your laundry?
His Mam does his laundry. He keeps coming home when he runs out of cloths.
I did his laundry once. I was frightened.
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That's what comes of being confronted with Dalek underpants without warning.
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Do Daleks wear underpants?
Someone has to ask.
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Do Daleks wear underpants?
Someone has to ask.
More to the point: if they do, why would they give Mince a pair to wear?
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Jimmy Carr said last night, "My Nan lives alone. There's one thing worries me. If she falls over, and there's nobody there, does she make a sound?"
He was quite crude, but very funny.
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Anyway, back to the subject.. What Mince has on his underpants is pure conjecture and private. It was remiss of me to bring up the daleks.
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Skidmarks, yes skidmarks. The FAA were at the new third runway at Seatac airport this week. Prior to any passenger flights landing they tested an Air Alaska 737 using it's automatic landing gear. To be sure that the transponder/ receiver were working well all the touchdown skidmarks should start at the same place. ;D
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Well I'm off to do my karaoke now. I think I'll go commando.