I have no desire to see Roger do a strip anywhere.
Besides which, I'm sure the folk at Tescos would escort him from the premises before he even got his shoes off.
They also would if he did this:
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. M*****,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in B*** is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.. and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
