Christmas shopping (day one).

[Roger Kettle]

I swore at three shop assistants, punched eight carol singers, threatened to kill Noddy Holder if he shouted "IT'S CHRIIIISTMAAAAS!" one more time and bought my daughter's boyfriend a book.
How are you guys getting on?

[Diane CBPFC]

Much better since you thinned the carol singers out thank you.

[Bilthehut]

I swore at three shop assistants, punched eight carol singers, threatened to kill Noddy Holder if he shouted "IT'S CHRIIIISTMAAAAS!" one more time and bought my daughter's boyfriend a book.

then you woke up after too much rum punch and realised it was still 20 days until Christmas.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I was doing fine until this random guy came and started punching me and seven of my mates while we were doing a fund-raiser for the "Stop Noddie's Death Threats" campaign.

[Malc]

I like Christmas, the tinsel, the tree, the red and green everywhere, the brass bands playing Christmas Carols - as long as I don't actually have to meet anybody.

[The Peepmaster]

I'm not mad on Christmas myself. If anyone offers me a gift, I'll take it, but have to withhold the urge to tell 'em to stick it up their arse. Same with Cards - "stick it up your arse"; (although I don't actually say that - I smile sweetly and graciously accept). Carols make me puke - although I behave and contain it; and decorations are hideously annoying. If I ever have a form of decoration on my house, it'll be a 6 foot tall neon sign, reading "TWAT", with an illuminated arrow pointing to any neighbouring house that happens to be obscenely over-decorated (which is anything over and above an ordinary porch-light).

I do like Christmas dinner and drinks though.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

You sound scarred, Peeps. Never get that Action Man you always wanted?   :'(

[Mince]

You sound scarred, Peeps. Never get that Action Man you always wanted?   :'(

He's not scarred, just a grumpy tosser.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

You sound scarred, Mince. Never get that insult you wanted?  :'(