Roger, I hate to have to tell you this (he lied), but the solution to at least one of your gripes lies in the modern world itself.
It's time for you to get a mobile phone, preferably a 'smart' one. You then give out the number to only those who you would ever want to receive calls from, and then... you unplug your land-line phone, and never, EVER plug it back in again. You land-line is now purely used to provide your Internet and nothing more. This won't completely eradicate cold-calling spammers with automated voices (although it will reduce it drastically, especially to begin with), but that's where part two of the plan comes in to play. Almost every time you receive a call on your smart phone, the number of the caller will display on your screen. If that caller is logged in your phone as one of your permitted contacts, then their name will appear also (or instead). These calls you can answer. If you do not recognise the number, or no number is displayed, you simply ignore the phone, and let it run to answering machine. If it's a legitimate call, they'll leave a message and you can call them back. If it's a spammer, there will be no message. They may call back a few times, but unless they leave a message, you continue to ignore them until they get fed up calling. Alternatively, you can very simply block the number in your phone, and it will never bother you again.
And the other clever bit to this is that if you're at all worried that you just may be blocking an important number (highly unlikely, but not impossible), then all you do is tap that logged number into Google, hit enter, and you'll find a whole host of sites that will provide you with details of people who may have reported that number as spam, often telling you who the calls claim to be made by. Chances are if the number you tap in doesn't feature on any of these sites, it may just be legit, and possibly worth a call back (but be ready to abort then block if needs be).
I've been doing this for a few years now, and can't remember the last time I actually had to speak to either an automated voice or a proper real b****** trying to sell me something unsolicited.
Get an iPhone (other brands are available)!
What's a cheque? Oh, yeah...
