The weather.

[Roger Kettle]

This is getting silly. It's now been three weeks of temperatures in the mid-twenties without a drop of rain falling. On the plus side, my tartan mankini is attracting gasps of admiration wherever I go. I presume it's admiration.

[Diane CBPFC]

I had to look up what a mankini is.

[Roger Kettle]

THAT'S ME!

[Max]

Three weeks of gorgeous sunshine, no rain, paradise found?
Not in my office with it's lovely air conditioning.
It's too cold, too draughty, too warm, moist, chilly, just nice, oh who turned off the aircon?, turn it on, turn it off, up, down. Aargh!!!!!

Hopefully, this month I will get voluntary redundancy, I think my shift since 1971 should be coming to an end. I hope.

[Roger Kettle]

Fingers crossed for you, Max. Enjoy it when it comes.

[Mince]

I just need somehow to cross an air conditioner with a hat and I'll be happy.

[Max]

Like this you mean?

[Roger Kettle]

It would clash with my tangerine mankini.

[Roger Kettle]

The silly weather continues. Every Thursday, I pop down to the local pub at 5.30 for a couple of beers with some idiotic friends. The conversation can be surreal and ranges from how entertaining the current American President is to guessing the height of apes (from spider monkeys to baboons to gorillas). This evening, one of these friends talked about being in a Manhattan restaurant, wearing half a melon on his head, while asking Terry Gilliam and Robert de Niro for their autographs.
 Anyway, back to the weather. We had been sitting outside the pub and at around 6.30, we decided it was too hot and moved inside.
 This is the East coast of Scotland. Let me say again. At 6.30, we decided it was too hot to sit outdoors and moved inside.

The world's gone mad, I tells ya.

[Mince]

There have been clear skies and sunshine here for weeks, and evenings for eating out on the patio. Of course, we knew it would not last, not with an eclipse of the moon on Friday.