And in today's news ...

[Mince]

The first two will surprise you!

1. Indonesia punishes self-quarantine violators by locking them up in haunted houses

2. Smokers are four times less likely to catch the coronavirus but seventeen times more likely to contract the severe for of Covid-19 if they do.

3. Trump wants us to inject ourselves with disinfectant.

[Roger Kettle]

As you suggested, the third one is, sadly, no surprise at all. The man is beyond satire, beyond belief and beyond hope.