Beauty and the Beast is like a horror story.
At the beginning, an old woman comes to the prince's palace and offers him a rose. He sends her away. (Who wouldn't? She might be a burglar or someone from TV Licensing.) And just for that she not only turns him into a beast but turns all his staff into candlesticks and wardrobes. This continues for years. What did the prince do wrong? What did the staff do that was so wrong? Who does she think she is? Sometimes when door-to-door salesmen knock on my door, I'm in a real crabby mood, and I tell them colourfully to "go away". Why does this mean there is "no love in my heart"? Even Chip, the son of one of the female staff, is turned into a cracked tea cup. How is he meant to deal with all those years as a cup? Does he get special counselling from the government? How much school did he miss? How is he going to explain to his future girlfriend why he keeps absent-mindedly climbing into the crockery cupboard instead of the bedroom? This is child abuse if ever I saw it.
