At a small ceremony in Gretna Green today, Mince and The Peepmaster were married. The endless months of petty bickering were, quite frankly, a transparent and pathetic attempt to conceal their relationship. Why they felt the need to do this, in these enlightened times, is beyond me but, happily, the charade is now over. They will be known as Nigel and Malcolm Mincemaster and will spend six months of the year on Bute and six months in Las vegas. I'm sure all of us here on the Beau Peep site wish them well. GOOD LUCK, BIG GUYS!
Dammit, I wish I'd known. I woke up in my car at Gretna Services this morning (this is actually true), having curtailed my journey south, due to a fierce blizzard on the M74 during the night. Had I been aware of this momentous occasion, I'd have surely delayed the restart of my journey, in order that I could have attended the nuptials and thrown confetti...or house bricks, or something.
I would now like to point out that Mince and The Peepmaster did NOT get married earlier today. I acknowledge that my attempt at humour was misguided and I apologise unreservedly. If, at any stage, my wedding reference was misconstrued as an actual event, I once again apologise unreservedly. This has nothing to do with the 28 legal emails I have received from lawyers representing the parties mentioned in the wholly fictional "matrimony" post. Thank you.
Yeah, right. What is this? Some kind of pathetic cover up? It just screams "conspiracy theory" at you. Well, I think we all know the truth of the matter now. Do you really take us for mugs? (cue sales pitch)
