The Real Tarquin Thunderthighs

[Mince]

Tarquin reckons he's been outed, that we now know who he is - a cartoonist. (You can all go look for the name yourselves.)

How do we know he's not an imposter?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

You're twisting my arm now, Mince - you know I have evidence, and I am prepared to use it.

[Mince]

I did consider that. But that drawing merely proves that you are a cartoonist, and not necessarily the cartoonist you are purporting to be, who might, after all, be much better at it than you.

[Mince]

You might be some kind of cheap, substandard cartoonist. Why would I want to talk to a lowlife imposter like you when I could be talking to the real Steve Bright, who is probably a much better cartoonist, much more intelligent and witty, and almost a heroic in his . . . er, hang on a minute: I think this whole thing is backfiring on me.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Can I post the picture anyway?

[Mince]

Absolutely not! I like to keep my student side of my life separate from my Beau Peep life, etc, etc, and . . . oh, go on, then.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

No, hang on - this needs milking a bit. I have a cunning plan...

[Mince]

No, hang on - this needs milking a bit. I have a cunning plan...

Didn't your last cunning plan result in someone wanting to burn your house down?