Hypnosis.

[Roger Kettle]

Has anyone ever had any experience of hypnosis? I have no particular reason for asking this---other than there's a programme about it on at the moment---and I just wondered.

[Mince]

Is it Derren Brown? I recorded it.

[Roger Kettle]

Yeah. I also believe he's a brilliant caricaturist, funnily enough.

[Malc]

No, I've never been hypnotized, I don't believe I could be.

I'm told (by people who attend these silly public hypnotism shows) that a number of people are asked to volunteer before the show begins, but many are rejected as unsuitable subjects.

I think the primary qualification is the desire to be part of it and the willingness to suspend one's natural inhibitions, at least to the extent that one is prepared to fake orgasms on stage or imagine that one's sixteen stone associate is a naked supermodel.

I'm too cynical and suspicious to - RUFF! RUFF! RUFF!! RUFF!!!

[Fyodor]

I was on a sales training course a million years ago and a  bunch of us were mucking about in a hotel room one night when somebody whose name began with J (funnily enough it probably still does) said that he could hypnotise people and I agreed to be the subject.
I meant to take the mick and I was fully aware of everything that was happening when he implanted his instruction for post-hypnotic behaviour.There was a trigger word and when I heard it I supposed to feel very thirsty, fill up a glass of water and gulp it down.
When the moment came, it felt an utterly churlish thing to do, so I filled up the glass and gulped the water down.
Jude, for that was he, was insufferable in his pride, but until this moment, I have have never told a soul that I actually duped him..

Or did I?

[The Peepmaster]

I had a friend whose name began with J once.

[Mince]

And I take it that once was enough for that person.