Strange phrases.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

On TV there was a report about someone being beaten to death by another. Who would actually want to be the winner in that race? I blame the Commonwealth games for making people so competitive.

[Mince]

That reminds me of the guy in court being asked: "Why do you beat your wife so often?" To which he shrugs and replies: "I don't know. Faster footwork. Superior speed."

[Mince]

I watched the Hunger Games yesterday, and one lad said about a girl: "I bought her squirrels." I took this to mean that he purchased some squirrels and gave them to her, but then I found out that it meant that she had the squirrels and he bought them off her. Strangely, you can't have that ambiguity with "I bought him squirrels." and "I bought his squirrels."

This brings me to something Eric Partiridge said in his book Usage and Abusage, where he stated that a distinction should be made between "I hate him being in the library." and "I hate his being in the library.", but this is a distinction that does not work with females: "I hate her being in the library."

Yes, I am taking medication and getting help for this.

[Malc]

I hate YOU being in the library. Because this is the result.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

What's the deal with squirrels? Are they widely anticipated to be a future commodity? 

[Bilthehut]

Squirrels should be labeled "may contain nuts".

[Malc]

So should the mental hospital's mini bus.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Or a Ladyboys stage show.   

[Diamond Lil]

  ...for all of you!

[The Peepmaster]

Or a packet of dry-roasted.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

You could always Nibble Nobby's...