I used to write such intelligent posts

[Redundant]

Ah, but it's beautifully formatted.

True, true, and, on reflection, it does have a certain...panache, or at least pancake.   If I didn't know I was such a nice guy I would begin to suspect a tinge of jealousy, heat waves in Spain whilst I sit here watching my Greek tan commit suicide rather than face another Isle of Man "summer's day" of drizzle followed by rain followed by...

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Tan? Don't think that word is in any Scottish dictionary. We do have list of synonyms that may be used, if required.

English............Scottish

Tanned............Damp
Bronzed...........Wet
Olive skinned....Drookit
Sun lounger......Park bench
Sand................Dirt
Beach...............The "gairden"

Hope these help, Red.

[Redundant]

Nice list, and brought back fond [and occasionally vague] memories of when I lived in Scotland, all that heather, she really was a big girl...

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Isn't she usually atop Peat ?

[Redundant]

Isn't she usually atop Peat ?

For a packet of fags she'd be atop anyone, at one point the village she lived in were planning to ostracize her for dallying with a sassenach but they'd lost their Ost [in a card game rumour has it].   Happy days indeed...when we got too hot she'd reach across the bed and open the fridge door...