Black Eye

[The Peepmaster]

I had a black eye once, except it was a bruised knee, and, er, it was blue.

[Mince]

She still doesn't understand.

[Mince]

But she has called me an idiot.

[Roger Kettle]

Mince, you REALLY don't want to know.

[Mince]

Two men walk into a bar (both miraculously avoiding the quick and easy punchline). One of them orders a pint of bitter and the other orders just a slice of lemon. The one with the bitter gulps it down while the one with the lemon has a suck on it and gives up. On the next round, each orders the same - a bitter and a lemon. Before the third round, the one with the lemon says to the other: "Do you fancy a wager?" and the other replies: "Yes, but is it about the lemon?"

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Now you're just being childish.

[Mince]

It's a work in progress.

[Mince]

I can imagine telling this joke to a group of friends and them all laughing uproariously - with me still none the wiser.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I take it you mean Colin's joke and not your own? I'd be laughing uproariously before the end of your attempt at the first line.