So we're on holiday in Mallorca, and here are my observations so far.
1. Always have something to read while your wife is being scanned by security for leaving her phone in her back pocket and her water bottle in her bag.
2. Never assume that the airport at Mallorca wants to reunite you with your luggage.
3. Have a set of planned responses (such as 'Wow!', 'That's cool', 'Amazing!') to use when responding to the Mach 2 incomprehensible siteseeing advice from the taxi driver.
4. Remember that there is at best only a weak correlation between your expectations of 'balcony view' and the actual vista of side street and parked cars.
5. Lifts do not visit the ground floor.
6. Luxurious, powerful, hot showers are seldom contained by small diddy shower curtains.
7. The lights to your living area are positioned as far from that living area as possible for maximum annoyance.
