Triumph and disaster...

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I'm glad I made that decision to change my allegiance to St Johnstone as a child - I don't think I could have handled the pressure of being a Celtic fan into adulthood.

Dundee United have had their glory times (which, for a Saints fan, I was surprisingly happy about). Saints have won nothing during my lifetime other than the first division title and a few Forfarshire Cups. I've seen them play in one major cup final against Rangers at Celtic Park (Hampden was still under reconstruction) where we lived up to all expectations and lost. Hopefully I'll be that old man dissolving into tears one day, but if it's never to be, it won't matter.

I sat at my drawing board in the heart of rural Shropshire yesterday, listening to Saints' title hopes unfold and then suddenly disintegrate, tuned to Radio Scotland via the Internet. I spent the entire time texting my eldest, Saints-daft (my fault) daughter at her workplace in Perthshire, keeping her up to date as best I could with the developments at Hamilton and Dingwall as they rapidly changed over the 90 minutes. She managed to reply to almost all of them (apparently things were very quiet at work). I couldn't bear to send the final text, so I called, knowing she wouldn't be allowed to answer it and I'd get put onto the answerphone. I broke the news with the sound of jubilation from Gretna fans in Dingwall in the background on my web radio. I could feel her heart break when I got her reply - it just read "Gutted!"

It's been way too long since I last had a chance to go to a game with her or any of her sisters. I must put that to rights soon.

Sorry, Colin, mate, but Roger's right, you (and every other Old Firm fan) haven't a clue. And you're wrong - I've no idea how you felt...never come close.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Okay, I'm over it.


Cricket...what's that about?

[Colin]

Colin, I'm sorry, this was anything but a personal dig at you. I was trying to point out the difference between supporting a team like Celtic and supporting one of the smaller sides. You were upset because, three years ago, your team was pipped to the title on the last day of the season. Despite winning it for the last two years--plus a couple of cups and an amazing European run--a lot of Celtic supporters regard this as failure and are unhappy with the management. It's all relative. For a lot of us, simply surviving is a cause for celebration.(Celtic, by the way, were NEVER in danger of "going out of business"). Most people who support the Old Firm do so for traditional reasons and I have absolutely no problems with that. They will probably witness their team winning sixty or seventy trophies in their lifetime.
I was at Hampden in 1994 when Dundee United won the Scottish Cup and watched an 85 year-old man dissolve into tears because he thought it was something he would never see. This certainly doesn't make the achievement better or worse than anything Rangers or Celtic have done----only more special. Like I said, all this is relative.

Roger, I know it wasn't a dig at me. In my lifetime so far, Celtic have won 45 trophies.
Apology accepted 

[Malc]

Cricket...what's that about?

I'm glad you asked. Well, let me start at the very beginning....

FX: A shot is heard off. McGookin clutches his chest and slumps to the floor.