Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Mince on May 28, 2007, 06:25:29 PM

Title: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 28, 2007, 06:25:29 PM
Which way round does it happen?

Does Columbo ask his wife: "Which celebrities do you really like?" and when she names them he just goes off and arrests them.

Or does Columbo say to his wife: "Guess who I was just talking to?" and she replies: "I don't know, but I suppose you're going to arrest them."
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on May 28, 2007, 06:38:53 PM
I may not know what I'm talking about here, but isn't this question about 30 years too late?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 28, 2007, 06:52:15 PM
Too late for what?

Which two people have played both Captain Bligh and the Hunchback of Notre Dame?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Diamond Lil on May 28, 2007, 06:56:52 PM
Charles Laughton....and I didn't even have to Google it!!
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Diamond Lil on May 28, 2007, 06:58:06 PM
now I've read it properly...two people??
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 28, 2007, 06:58:35 PM
Yes, there is another.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 28, 2007, 07:04:31 PM
Yes, there is another.

I'm beginning to sound like Yoda.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 28, 2007, 07:05:00 PM
Yes, there is another.
I'm beginning to sound like Yoda.

And now I'm quoting myself.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on May 28, 2007, 07:08:32 PM
Anthony Hopkins.

30 years too late to ask Columbo for a start....
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 28, 2007, 07:13:57 PM
Did you have to look up the answer?

By the way, Columbo isn't a real person.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on May 28, 2007, 07:26:57 PM
I'll treat that question with the contempt it so richly deserves.

Yes, but only to confirm my answer.





He isn't? Who discovered America then?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 28, 2007, 07:30:05 PM
Columbus discovered America, and then he was arrested by Columbo.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on May 28, 2007, 07:59:34 PM
I suppose that'd be Mrs Columbo's fault then?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 28, 2007, 08:49:29 PM
Don't be daft! She wasn't even born back then!
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Roger Kettle on May 28, 2007, 10:38:20 PM
I've just come back from an Italian meal with the missus and friends. I think "Calamari" would be a good name for a detective.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: The Peepmaster on May 28, 2007, 10:57:11 PM
Marginally better than Acquadella O Latterino Fritto I suppose.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Malc on May 28, 2007, 11:44:36 PM
Amerigo Vespucci discovered the Americas (mostly Central and South). Columbus discovered the West Indies. John Cabot (backed by Britain) is credited with discovering the North American mainland.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Malc on May 29, 2007, 01:22:40 AM
I loved Columbo, it was a very clever series, in the sense that it married Holmesian methods with a love for the underdog. The baddies were inevitably smooth and arrogant, looking down their noses at poor old Columbo in his broken down car and his crumpled coat.

It's a very successful, populist formula, used by Chaplin, and if I was planning a new drama series I'd pretty much nick it.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Diane CBPFC on May 29, 2007, 02:32:36 AM
The average IQ of the Beau Peep board sure soared since Malc joined.

I too will try to think of something clever. I don't think it will be today though.

Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Malc on May 29, 2007, 06:56:27 AM
Not many people know that Einstein was hard of hearing and that led to his discovery of the theory of relativity.

His first job was as a very bad busker in Manchester. He set up in Albert Square and started to play his banjolele. His caterwauling prompted a passer-by to comment: "Ee... 'e could empty t' square".
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on May 29, 2007, 09:53:57 AM
That's excruciating, Malc - bravo!

Interestingly, most people assume America got it's name from Amerigo Vespucci, but this is not the case. Had this been the case, we would have had a 'special relationship' with Vespuccia today, since always new lands were named after a surname and never a forename.

America was actually named after the chief patron of John Cabot's voyage (Cabot was Italian, real name Giovanni Caboto), a Welshman and wealthy Bristol merchant, Richard Ameryk.

Columbus actually thought the world was pear-shaped and a quarter of its actual size. The closest he came to setting foot on America's mainland was the Bahamas, and he made his crew swear an oath that, if asked, they would say they had reached India. No-one is absolutely certain of his nationality - the main evidence points to him being the son of a Genoese weaver, but there are also reasonable claims he may have been Sephardic Jewish, Spanish, Corsican, Portuguese, Catalan or Greek. He preferred to be known as either Columbo or Colon.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 29, 2007, 10:00:32 PM
COLUMBO = LOB MUCUS

:o
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: The Peepmaster on May 29, 2007, 10:10:30 PM
COLUMBO = LOB MUCUS

:o

Columbus actually!

COLUMBO = COOL BUM
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 29, 2007, 10:11:46 PM
I noticed that one as well but didn't post it because I thought it was infantile.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: The Peepmaster on May 29, 2007, 10:13:21 PM
Yes, but yours wasn't correct. At least mine was!
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 29, 2007, 10:14:27 PM
Oh, I meant Columbus . . .
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on May 29, 2007, 11:10:17 PM
Why do we bother, Malcolm?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 29, 2007, 11:13:48 PM
. . . because it delays again having to deal with your sad existence?  ;D
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Malc on May 29, 2007, 11:48:42 PM
Don't drag me into this. ::)
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 30, 2007, 12:41:47 AM
Malc, "sad existence" referred to Tarquin's life, not you.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Malc on May 30, 2007, 04:21:53 AM
This is no joke, the Japanese made their own version of Columbo and called it Corumbo.









OK, I lied.

But I bet that's what they call him.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Malc on May 30, 2007, 04:27:46 AM
Corumbo is just about to leave the room, but always turns, puts his little Japanese cigar to his forehead and says "Whaaarr. Just-a whun-a mo'fing"...
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Roger Kettle on May 30, 2007, 09:12:11 AM
I was more of a "Charlie's Angels" man, myself. Gritty, realistic scripts set in the mean streets of '70s Los Angeles. There were some heart-stopping moments when one of the girls would be forced to go undercover as a contestant in the "Miss U.S.A." contest.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on May 30, 2007, 09:49:38 AM
I know what you mean, Roger - their hair was constantly in danger!

Mincey, you remember a while back you asked me in all seriousness whether you'd ever really upset me? Keep trying, loser!  ;D
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Colin on May 30, 2007, 12:45:54 PM
(http://i12.tinypic.com/52ozuqa.jpg)
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: peter on May 31, 2007, 08:18:25 PM
dont you morons know that the vikings discovered America first
It was in april
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on May 31, 2007, 08:25:03 PM
Peter, that's your first post. You can't just waltz in here and call us morons. You need to be here at least three weeks before you can do that, otherwise it's a very rash judgement indeed.

Did they?

Welcome.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 31, 2007, 08:34:06 PM
I was insulting you from day one.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: peter on May 31, 2007, 08:40:53 PM
Why not I had two minutes to waste why not spread some happyness around
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on May 31, 2007, 08:47:01 PM
I was insulting you from day one.

Yes, but that was MY day one, not yours. It took me a little longer until I insulted you back.

Peter, happiness has no 'y' in it, you "?$%^&*(!!
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on May 31, 2007, 08:48:58 PM
If I remember rightly, my first post on the old board was:

@#*%@ $£@$%  &%$@ $$@@ you, Roger!
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Colin on May 31, 2007, 09:45:48 PM
dont you morons know that the vikings discovered America first
It was in april

Who the f@#/ are you calling a moron you 2 post internet message board virgin  >:(
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: peter on May 31, 2007, 10:34:49 PM
Me a virgin. I will ask my wife, if she agrees then I will accept this insult.
She say's "No"
Must still be a moron.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on June 08, 2007, 06:58:28 PM
Four posts on one day, then nothing. Peter, is your real name Marie Celeste?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on June 08, 2007, 07:50:56 PM
He doesn't actually care. He is just, like me now, trying to get his name on the end of all the topics.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on June 08, 2007, 07:57:59 PM
Oh the unoriginality of it all. You know you'll never succeed, don't you?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on June 08, 2007, 07:58:51 PM
Why do you think that?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: peter on July 21, 2007, 12:30:54 PM
yuor right
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on July 21, 2007, 12:40:22 PM
Is it just bad spelling and punctuation or are we meant to deduce something from those two words above?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: peter on July 21, 2007, 12:44:04 PM
I thought you liked anagrams
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Malc on July 22, 2007, 05:48:21 AM
Is "I thought you liked anagrams"  the anagram?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: peter on July 22, 2007, 02:18:55 PM
As soon as I work it out I will let you Know.
In the mean time try it
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on July 22, 2007, 03:42:27 PM
"I thought you liked anagrams" is an anagram of "Marauding Tautology Sheikh" or "Haughtily Outranked Amigos".
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on July 22, 2007, 03:59:42 PM
"I thought you liked anagrams" is an anagram of "Marauding Tautology Sheikh" or "Haughtily Outranked Amigos".

Must have taken you split seconds to work those out, Mincey. Which programme/website did you use?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on July 22, 2007, 04:01:47 PM
Must have taken you split seconds to work those out, Mincey. Which programme/website did you use?

It was on BBC1 this morning.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: peter on July 22, 2007, 04:28:50 PM
Watch it mince the licence van may be able to read and prove that you use a tele
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 22, 2007, 07:34:00 PM
I'm sure he wouldn't have missed Friday's East Enders.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on July 22, 2007, 07:49:32 PM
At the moment I am watching a rather disturbing film about a man who cons several children into his factory and then tortures them one by one: one lad is nearly drowned; one girl is given an experimental substance that makes her face and body swell; another is thrown into a garbage collector. I won't go on. I'm surprised it was given a "U" rating. Has anyone else seen "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on July 22, 2007, 08:27:47 PM
Brilliant, isn't it?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Mince on July 22, 2007, 08:56:08 PM
Of course. The Johnny Depp one is awful by comparison.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on July 22, 2007, 09:05:07 PM
I think they're both excellent.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: peter on July 22, 2007, 09:48:02 PM
I think they're both excellent.
You poor children you should try to get out more
Go cut the lawn see nature in the raw
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 22, 2007, 09:57:42 PM
I think they're both excellent.
You poor children you should try to get out more
Go cut the lawn see nature in the raw

If I went bird-watching, or cut the lawn naked, I'd be arrested.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: peter on July 24, 2007, 03:30:28 PM
If I went bird-watching, or cut the lawn naked, I'd be arrested.
[/quote]

You mean that you have policemen in the Isles
I will send a strongly worded letter of protest to Mr Brown
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: Tarquin Thunderthighs lll on July 24, 2007, 03:38:53 PM

You meen that you have policemen in the Isles


Not for long - they either chase them away or burn them alive, isn't that right, Peepsie?
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: peter on July 24, 2007, 10:20:42 PM

You meen that you have policemen in the Isles


Not for long - they either chase them away or burn them alive, isn't that right, Peepsie?
I thought the Wickerman was just a film!
Gosh you learn something from the locals.
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: The Peepmaster on July 24, 2007, 10:24:15 PM
Yes we have policemen! If you bring your car over, watch the speed traps...
Title: Re: Columbo
Post by: peter on July 25, 2007, 10:11:31 AM
Yes we have policemen! If you bring your car over, watch the speed traps...
You are alot better off than us we have a ?8 million pound police station and on saturday we have three officers.
1 in charge of the station
2 one in chare of prisoners
3 the only one who is available to arrest some one
If we have a second crime we have no body to send as number 3 will take two hours to process the paperwork
Bring back the Vikings