Beau Peep Notice Board

Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Malc on December 04, 2012, 10:51:51 PM

Title: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Malc on December 04, 2012, 10:51:51 PM
I'll tell you: I am attending the International Coaching Licence course at the FA's headquarters at St George's Park near Derby.
Today we sat in on a session taken by Roy Hodgson himself, and the guy standing next to me was none other than former Scottish International, Birmingham City and Villa manager, Alex McLeish.

It lasts two weeks, it's a residential course, the hotel is ace, the food is delicious, and as long as my knee holds, I will be running round happy as a pig in sh*t..
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on December 04, 2012, 11:11:14 PM
My guess was going to be jail, but I suppose your guess should be more accurate.   
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Diane CBPFC on December 05, 2012, 01:47:59 AM
Nice to hear some good news. Sounds like even if you knee gives out you will still be hobbling around like a pig in poo.  ;D

Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Jack on December 05, 2012, 08:01:23 AM
This is great news. Alex McLeish could really do with being on a coaching course. Perhaps you can give him a tip or two, Malc.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on December 05, 2012, 10:55:28 AM
Apparently day one is split between learning how to shout, "Get intae thum" in four different languages, and "Defend, DEFEND, DEF.....ah for F**k sake, Scotland", in every language you can master.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Roger Kettle on December 05, 2012, 11:22:25 AM
I'm guessing that, when McLeish was speaking, everyone sat at the back with one up front.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Diamond Lil on December 05, 2012, 10:31:42 PM
Is that the offside rule that I hear so much about?
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Malc on December 05, 2012, 10:42:50 PM
I'm having to cope with one coach assessor who has little man syndrome and verbal diarhorrea.

Mind you, the poor bastards have to put up with a lot. There's an old bloke from Jordan who keeps walking onto the field during instruction sessions to tell the assessor how to run his lesson! I think he's a bit of a big cheese back home, and doesn't take kindly to standing at the sidelines watching.

Not to be too reactionary about it, but he wants shooting.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Malc on December 05, 2012, 10:43:29 PM
Lucky, shooting is on the syllabus tomorrow.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on December 05, 2012, 11:11:57 PM
I'm having to cope with one coach assessor who has little man syndrome and verbal diarhorrea.

Mind you, the poor bastards have to put up with a lot. There's an old bloke from Jordan who keeps walking onto the field during instruction sessions to tell the assessor how to run his lesson! I think he's a bit of a big cheese back home, and doesn't take kindly to standing at the sidelines watching.

Not to be too reactionary about it, but he wants shooting.

She's called Katie Price now, and go easy on him, he's probably just a bit confused after a heavy night.   <-
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Malc on December 06, 2012, 08:29:21 AM
...or a heavy knight  :P
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: The Peepmaster on December 06, 2012, 09:14:15 PM
...or a heavy knight  :P

Sir Weighsalot..?
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Malc on December 10, 2012, 07:07:04 AM
Progress report: First week sessions completed and I've been graded. The grading system doesn't have a "fail" mark, there is a "tick" to say you've done ok, and an "AP" which stands for "Action Plan", meaning you have to put together an action plan to correct the bits that (allegedly) you got wrong.

There are fifteen sections, and I got ten ticks. It's not too bad, as my assessor is the little grumpy one. I would have much preferred the nice assessor. My assessor keeps talking about when 'e woz at West 'Am (wherever THAT is) and showing off his ball juggling.

A surreal moment occurred when we were accidentally seated together at dinner. He mentioned that when 'e woz at West 'Am, his mentor was a first team player called George Cowie. I told him George now lived in Australia and was a friend of mine. His face was a picture. I wonder how many ticks I'd have got if I'd told him that BEFORE the assessments.  :-\

This week when we coach our grading sessions, we have to wear microphones and we are videoed.  So glad I've lost about a stone in weight already. The camera adds 20 pounds, you know.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on December 10, 2012, 10:48:22 PM

This week when we coach our grading sessions, we have to wear microphones and we are videoed.  So glad I've lost about a stone in weight already. The camera adds 20 pounds, you know.

That's one heavy camera, Malc.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Diane CBPFC on December 11, 2012, 04:38:17 AM
Progress report: First week sessions completed and I've been graded. The grading system doesn't have a "fail" mark, there is a "tick" to say you've done ok, and an "AP" which stands for "Action Plan", meaning you have to put together an action plan to correct the bits that (allegedly) you got wrong.

There are fifteen sections, and I got ten ticks. It's not too bad, as my assessor is the little grumpy one. I would have much preferred the nice assessor. My assessor keeps talking about when 'e woz at West 'Am (wherever THAT is) and showing off his ball juggling.

A surreal moment occurred when we were accidentally seated together at dinner. He mentioned that when 'e woz at West 'Am, his mentor was a first team player called George Cowie. I told him George now lived in Australia and was a friend of mine. His face was a picture. I wonder how many ticks I'd have got if I'd told him that BEFORE the assessments.  :-\

This week when we coach our grading sessions, we have to wear microphones and we are videoed.  So glad I've lost about a stone in weight already. The camera adds 20 pounds, you know.

I would have liked to have said something encouraging but it doesn't sound like you are doing very well at that football thing. Either that or that little git has got it in for you just because you are so much more awesome than he is at the footy.

Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Malc on December 11, 2012, 11:30:34 PM
...er, yes, thanks Diane  ???
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: The Peepmaster on December 12, 2012, 06:52:18 PM
It's the taking part that counts. Be sure to tell that to all those luminaries you're mixing with.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Egg on December 13, 2012, 08:56:20 AM
Just spent 11 days searching this place and never saw you!

OK, I sat on my arse and drank beer in 30c of sunshine!  8)

(http://i1197.photobucket.com/albums/aa439/CKEGG/0f91d3400b892be257502fc7d93174d8.jpg)
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on December 13, 2012, 07:27:06 PM
I see Rothesay is having an unseasonably warm spell again.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Egg on December 14, 2012, 08:27:43 AM
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Malc on December 14, 2012, 12:13:11 PM
Well the bad news is I am leaving the International Coaching Licence course early. A few days ago I started to feel really down about it, and I did think of asking the course director for a chat, but decided against it in the end.

I'm afraid I've come to the conclusion that it's a dreadful waste of money, a con and a rip off. I've done my final assessments and it went well, but such is my view of certain English-speaking participants on the course that attending the so-called Presentation ceremony and party on Saturday night will be like sticking needles in my eyes. Awful bunch of stuck-up chancers and dicks.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Jack on December 14, 2012, 04:40:13 PM
If you've done your final assessments, then surely you're done anyway? I'm assuming you'll still get whatever the certificate/qualification is that you were going for?

There shouldn't be any obligation to stick around for a bit of feigned mutual admiration with people you don't like. You can use this place for that.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: The Peepmaster on December 14, 2012, 08:18:47 PM
Malc, there's nothing wrong with not wishing to go to a posh do full of famous people all pointing at you and going "Who the f*ck's that?"

Run away with your head held high!  8)
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Malc on December 14, 2012, 08:48:40 PM
Quote
There shouldn't be any obligation to stick around for a bit of feigned mutual admiration with people you don't like. You can use this place for that.
Hey!! I love you all. Whoever you are.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Bilthehut on December 14, 2012, 10:29:03 PM
Quote
There shouldn't be any obligation to stick around for a bit of feigned mutual admiration with people you don't like. You can use this place for that.
Hey!! I love you all. Whoever you are.
I'm me, and the others on this site are themselves.  Does that help?
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Mince on December 14, 2012, 11:16:44 PM
I'm usually someone else.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on December 15, 2012, 12:21:01 AM
So who am I again?   :-\
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Mince on December 15, 2012, 08:48:18 AM
You're the son of the arch enemy of the brother-in-law of the long-lost imaginary friend of one of my multiple personalities.
Title: Re: Guess Where I Am?
Post by: Sandy Buttcheeks on December 15, 2012, 10:36:45 PM
Well, that will get me my money's worth at ancestry.co.uk.