Beau Peep Notice Board
Beau Peep Notice Board => Outpourings => Topic started by: Redundant on June 20, 2015, 07:35:03 PM
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...admittedly only for a week, to go on holiday with friends/family, but nevertheless I felt a bold statement was the only response, at this very moment there are three hats, a coat and a pair of shoes in the kitchen...ACTING AS THOUGH THEY BELONG THERE! My point is well made I think, and it will take a coincidence of epic proportions for those items to find themselves in their proper places just before my wife's return. I think we all know who wears the trousers in this house [or keeps them in the allocated wardrobe space at least]. I need not tell you the position of the toilet seat at this time [it's down, at my age standing up is too much of an adventure, but it's the thought that counts...isn't it?]
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Enjoy your week, Red. On the few occasions that my wife is away from, I wander round the empty house shouting "Get my dinner, woman! Call this shirt ironed? Bring me a beer NOW!"
You know, just to see what it would be like.
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We've all sipped from the chalice Roger, the heady bouquet flairs our nostrils, taste buds galvanised by the exotic taste of imagined power...then the drawbridge falls, courage flees as castle walls collapse...I may have got carried away a little here
"I'll just put the kettle on dear...how was your holiday?"
Ah well, the Batman trilogy awaits, as does The Seven Samurai, Das Boot, Fiddler on the Roof, Last Exit to Brooklyn [Mark Knopfler soundtrack, amazing], The Day the Earth Caught Fire [Yes! The original Black & White 1961 film!] and a touch of nostalgia armageddon style with "When the Wind Blows" So many films, so little time...
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I am off to Manchester, for a few days, on work related matters. I wont be stomping around the hotel pretending to be lord of the manor, but I may whisper some alpha male thoughts that should ne'er be spoke allowed in wifely presence. in fact, I may just think them in case sound travels further than expected. Mrs Buttcheeks has perfect female hearing. :(
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Wow, it takes a LOT of movies to replace the company of a good wife.
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Wow, it takes a LOT of movies to replace the company of a good wife.
;D ;D
Truth be told Diane it's called marking time, I don't begrudge my wife anything, quite the reverse but I miss her before she even leaves, I'm barely social when she is with me, when she's not I can give any decent recluse a run for his money. That said...they are pretty good movies...
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I just spent a week in Norfolk, its quite flat.
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I just spent a week in Norfolk, its quite flat.
That's good to know, that it's flat I mean, not that you spend a week there although I am sure that is also good to know unless you were there under duress, in which case it would be not so good to know, whilst remaining at all times quite flat. Hopefully Sandy will be logged in later and will post something equally interesting in a Norfolk accent, which I am given to understand is not flat at all. He's a bit of a cunning linguist, in addition to having an unrivalled knowledge of confectionery.
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Good Lord - I also spent a week in Norfolk. 1979, I think. It's a small world. And very flat in places.
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I spent a week in a flat. It wasn't in Norfolk, though.
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I just spent a week in Norfolk, its quite flat.
That's good to know, that it's flat I mean, not that you spend a week there although I am sure that is also good to know unless you were there under duress, in which case it would be not so good to know, whilst remaining at all times quite flat. Hopefully Sandy will be logged in later and will post something equally interesting in a Norfolk accent, which I am given to understand is not flat at all. He's a bit of a cunning linguist, in addition to having an unrivalled knowledge of confectionery.
No never under duress, don't like condoms.
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This is all very well but I can't help but notice that once again we have drifted somewhat "off topic". This thread started with the emasculation of the hunter/gather and was hopefully going to develop into meaningful neutrosophic dialogue.
Instead we have...Norfolk. I blame Roger, ever since he stole Sandy's thread it's been chaos...
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Thank you for the recognition of my linguistic gymnastics, Red.
Or as they would say it in Norfolk...
Ta
Ta da...thank you ladies and gentlemen. Rory Bremner, eat your heart out. Next performance 10pm sharp. Come early to ensure a seat.
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Thank you for the recognition of my linguistic gymnastics, Red.
Credit where it's due my friend, nice to see you are still "leaving them while they still want more" Which brings us nicely back to my wife leaving me, and the rather sinister introduction of a) the name Pedro and b) the captain of a boat, hired apparently for as yet unidentified shenanigans who may or may not be aforementioned Pedro. I was so angry I nearly didn't wash the dishes...
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You need to take a step back...firstly from the sink...and not concern yourself with any names thrown into conversations like that. It is purely a female tactic that has been used over the years, to encourage jealousy from the male of the species. The antidote is beer. Couple of cold ones sorts any concerns out. As for the captain, forget him. I've never worried about a wee man in a boat ! :P
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Well, she's back. Demonstrating her unrivalled knowledge of dust she identified three dust free areas on the kitchen table, "hat shaped" as she described them, after that it all went a little downhill. There's been this "thing" knocking around the kitchen all week, getting in the way all the time, eventually I lost my temper and threw it out. Now apparently we need a new ironing board.
As for Pedro, he's for real it seems, at least judging from the copious holiday snaps of the handsome, boat owning...turns out my wife has also been cavorting with whales and dolphins, I'm praying that's not a euphemism.
I got my own back, in a fit of pique I swapped over my socks and my undies drawers...
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I got my own back, in a fit of pique I swapped over my socks and my undies drawers...
I'm no expert, but I don't think drawers will be as comfortable, or as warm, on your feet.
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Great story, Red. I laughed out loud at the ironing board incident!
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Thanks Roger, coming from someone who makes people laugh for a living, that's a generous compliment.
I'm no expert, but I don't think drawers will be as comfortable, or as warm, on your feet.
In hindsight you may be correct, on the other hand I may have inadvertently invented "Manx Clogs"
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I'm no expert, but I don't think drawers will be as comfortable, or as warm, on your feet.
In hindsight you may be correct, on the other hand I may have inadvertently invented "Manx Clogs"
Great idea Red, although the name does seem to be more appropriate to a lower intestinal disease. :-[
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Great idea Red, although the name does seem to be more appropriate to a lower intestinal disease. :-[
;D ;D ;D I honestly think that's the first time I have laughed and thought yuck at the same time, my wife frequently suggests I have a bizarre sense of humour, I think I may be in the presence of greatness...no wait, it's just indigestion...
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;)
For some reason, I now have an episode of "Ripping Yarns" in my head. Wasn't there one with a scene where Michael Palin's uncle (?), was unblocking a drain by hand whilst showing off his various diseases? Not sure, just remember it being hilarious.
;D