My wife left me...

[Redundant]

...admittedly only for a week, to go on holiday with friends/family, but nevertheless I felt a bold statement was the only response, at this very moment there are three hats, a coat and a pair of shoes in the kitchen...ACTING AS THOUGH THEY BELONG THERE!   My point is well made I think, and it will take a coincidence of epic proportions for those items to find themselves in their proper places just before my wife's return.   I think we all know who wears the trousers in this house [or keeps them in the allocated wardrobe space at least].   I need not tell you the position of the toilet seat at this time [it's down, at my age standing up is too much of an adventure, but it's the thought that counts...isn't it?]

[Roger Kettle]

Enjoy your week, Red. On the few occasions that my wife is away from, I wander round the empty house shouting "Get my dinner, woman! Call this shirt ironed? Bring me a beer NOW!"
You know, just to see what it would be like.

[Redundant]

We've all sipped from the chalice Roger, the heady bouquet flairs our nostrils, taste buds galvanised by the exotic taste of imagined power...then the drawbridge falls, courage flees as castle walls collapse...I may have got carried away a little here

 "I'll just put the kettle on dear...how was your holiday?"

Ah well, the Batman trilogy awaits, as does The Seven Samurai, Das Boot, Fiddler on the Roof, Last Exit to Brooklyn [Mark Knopfler soundtrack, amazing], The Day the Earth Caught Fire [Yes! The original Black & White 1961 film!] and a touch of nostalgia armageddon style with "When the Wind Blows"   So many films, so little time...

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

I am off to Manchester, for a few days, on work related matters. I wont be stomping around the hotel pretending to be lord of the manor, but I may whisper some alpha male thoughts that should ne'er be spoke allowed in wifely presence. in fact, I may just think them in case sound travels further than expected. Mrs Buttcheeks has perfect female hearing.   

[Diane CBPFC]

Wow, it takes a LOT of movies to replace the company of a good wife.

[Redundant]

Wow, it takes a LOT of movies to replace the company of a good wife.

 

Truth be told Diane it's called marking time, I don't begrudge my wife anything, quite the reverse but I miss her before she even leaves, I'm barely social when she is with me, when she's not I can give any decent recluse a run for his money.   That said...they are pretty good movies...

[Max]

I just spent a week in Norfolk, its quite flat.

[Redundant]

I just spent a week in Norfolk, its quite flat.

That's good to know, that it's flat I mean, not that you spend a week there although I am sure that is also good to know unless you were there under duress, in which case it would be not so good to know, whilst remaining at all times quite flat.    Hopefully Sandy will be logged in later and will post something equally interesting in a Norfolk accent, which I am given to understand is not flat at all.   He's a bit of a cunning linguist, in addition to having an unrivalled knowledge of confectionery.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Good Lord - I also spent a week in Norfolk. 1979, I think. It's a small world. And very flat in places.

[Roger Kettle]

I spent a week in a flat. It wasn't in Norfolk, though.

[Max]

I just spent a week in Norfolk, its quite flat.

That's good to know, that it's flat I mean, not that you spend a week there although I am sure that is also good to know unless you were there under duress, in which case it would be not so good to know, whilst remaining at all times quite flat.    Hopefully Sandy will be logged in later and will post something equally interesting in a Norfolk accent, which I am given to understand is not flat at all.   He's a bit of a cunning linguist, in addition to having an unrivalled knowledge of confectionery.

No never under duress, don't like condoms.

[Redundant]

This is all very well but I can't help but notice that once again we have drifted somewhat "off topic".   This thread started with the emasculation of the hunter/gather and was hopefully going to develop into meaningful neutrosophic dialogue.

Instead we have...Norfolk.   I blame Roger, ever since he stole Sandy's thread it's been chaos...

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

Thank you for the recognition of my linguistic gymnastics, Red.

Or as they would say it in Norfolk...


Ta



Ta da...thank you ladies and gentlemen. Rory Bremner, eat your heart out. Next performance 10pm sharp. Come early to ensure a seat.

[Redundant]

Thank you for the recognition of my linguistic gymnastics, Red.

Credit where it's due my friend, nice to see you are still "leaving them while they still want more"   Which brings us nicely back to my wife leaving me, and the rather sinister introduction of a) the name Pedro and b) the captain of a boat, hired apparently for as yet unidentified shenanigans who may or may not be aforementioned Pedro.   I was so angry I nearly didn't wash the dishes...

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

You need to take a step back...firstly from the sink...and not concern yourself with any names thrown into conversations like that. It is purely a female tactic that has been used over the years, to encourage jealousy from the male of the species. The antidote is beer. Couple of cold ones sorts any concerns out. As for the captain, forget him. I've never worried about a wee man in a boat !