Artificial Insemination - does one really need professional help?

[The Peepmaster]

I don't Peeps, I'm just the board chair that's all.

No "just" about it, Diane. You're an extremely important chair, and a vital cog in the depository's machinery.

[Diane CBPFC]

Update
 
My dog went into heat Wednesday, I decided to use the vet, she had her second treatment on Friday. The vet said not to bring her in until Monday unless they were showing more interest as she did a smear that showed she is was only 20% into her heat (a heat can be all over in 2 days or drag out weeks so it is very hard to pinpoint the best peak time to AI).

Anyway...Sunday morning arrived and Chip is more interested in the girl in the next dog run and sure enough she is in high heat. So my vet took them all in on Sunday and we are trying with both girls. This is Chips third year with me with no pups from him either naturally or with the two AI attempts we had previously tried; this is the very last attempt to have pups – I could be in a sea of three litters puppies at the end of June as two of my other dogs were doing what comes naturally the past two days.

After more than a year since my only litter of pups was born last year, you can imagine how exciting this is. 

[Calvin]

I'm guessing purebred dogs here?
Maybe this is another issue with the purebred/pedigree thing.
When I were a lad you always knew if a bitch on the street was in heat (or even thinking about it) by the number of local mutts milling around, gazing longingly at their door. If one of these ladies ever got out and about the neighbourhood  in that condition you could bet on a consumation in minutes. It seemed to be a regular sight to find two dogs "knotted",with a frantic owner trying to get a water hose to reach. High comedy for a bunch of 8 year olds.
Mind you this was all before leash laws and following your dog around with a little plastic baggie.
Edit : It's also a safe bet that they made puppies 99.9% of the time too.
 

[Diane CBPFC]

Yes, Calvin I'm a really bad dog breeder. But what I lack in making pups I make up for in taking photos of my dogs - so I have a huge waiting and interest list. 

It would seem that Murphy's Law applies to the dog world, the more you want pups the harder it is for them to concieve. With AI you are lucky to get 2 or 3 pups if it does work for you. I have not had any sucess yet with AI but I'm really hoping this will work this time.

I wonder if that is where the term "get knotted" started from - we dog breeders call it "tied".