1. How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionised.
2. Is it solipsistic in here or is it just me?
3. Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Does everyone want a beer?" First one says, "I don't know". Second one says, "I don't know". Third one says, "Yes please".
4. The Buddha walks up to a hot-dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
5. What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
6. What does the initial B in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B Mandelbrot.
7. There are two types of people in the world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
8. Every word in this sentence is a gross misspelling of the word "tomato."
9. The wife of a programmer sends her husband out to the shop to buy a loaf of bread. On his way out she shouts "Also, if they have eggs, get 12", so he comes back with 12 loaves of bread.
10. Two women walk into a bar. One asks, "Have you heard of the Bechdel test?" The other replies, "Yeah, my boyfriend told me all about it."