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Author Topic: Stand-up comedy night #3  (Read 6476 times)

Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2015, 06:46:15 PM »
I stole the two party joke from a xmas cracker and adapted that too.

Thanks for the additional monkey jokes - I may try to have the second one learned (the first one has been told in our group before) just in case the audience insists on an encore from me.  :)

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People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad

Offline Bilthehut

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #16 on: January 25, 2015, 07:01:36 PM »
Go for it.
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Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #17 on: January 25, 2015, 07:09:03 PM »
Changes after talking to my daughter. Instead of stepping on a nail - I tripped over a toilet plunger.  Instead of twisting nipples, I have to make it picking noses so as not to embarrass her in our town because she still needs to live here for two more years.
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People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad

Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #18 on: January 25, 2015, 07:12:03 PM »
Also Zimbabwe is funnier than Zambia - so I changed that too.
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People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad

Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #19 on: January 25, 2015, 08:29:21 PM »
Great stuff, Diane! I'm sure you'll be a star.
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Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #20 on: January 25, 2015, 10:37:07 PM »
Thanks, I think I have a good script there to work with, but it all comes down to if I can remember it and if I can deliver it in a funny way. At least I am first on the program so I don't have to worry about anyone else doing the same monkey joke.   :)

Expectations are low, so I have that in my favour too.
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People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad

Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #21 on: January 28, 2015, 07:58:38 AM »
I did rather well and was pleased with my act, all 7 of us did well in fact. I think we were much improved since two years ago. Sadly although well advertised, only 3 people came out and one of them was a past Toastmaster. Non of us could even get our spouses to attend.

So sadly that was the 3rd and LAST comedy night for our toastmasters club. 

Thanks for your help over the years.   
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People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad

Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #22 on: January 28, 2015, 07:08:36 PM »
Ah, that's a shame, Diane. If you'd only given us a little more notice, we'd all have been there, wouldn't we, Gang?.

Glad it went well - sorry for not being around to help with the jokes. Though it may have been just as well...

Man to pet shop assistant:  "I'd like a wasp please."
Pet shop assistant:  "We don't sell wasps."
Man (indignantly):  "Well, you've got one in the window..."

That's my best one. Has been for twenty years or so, since I nicked it from Frank Carson.
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I apologise, in advance.

Diamond Lil

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #23 on: January 28, 2015, 08:15:20 PM »
What a shame, Diane.  I can make January next year if you want to give it one more try  :)
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Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #24 on: January 28, 2015, 08:30:41 PM »
Pleased it went well, Diane, but sorry to hear it has come to an end. You worked so hard.
Diamond Lil, do you want to think this through? January in Alberta?
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Diamond Lil

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #25 on: January 29, 2015, 07:27:16 PM »
Perhaps I spoke a little hastily....
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Offline Roger Kettle

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #26 on: January 29, 2015, 10:03:54 PM »
Ah, the great Smothers Brothers line! Actually, it's "maybe" rather than "perhaps" but I'll forgive you----let's face it, we're talking about a sketch from 48 years ago!


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Offline Tarquin Thunderthighs lll

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #27 on: January 31, 2015, 12:41:20 AM »
Quote from: Roger Kettle on January 29, 2015, 10:03:54 PM
Ah, the great Smothers Brothers line! Actually, it's "maybe" rather than "perhaps" but I'll forgive you----let's face it, we're talking about a sketch from 48 years ago!




Well, if we're going to be pedantic, it didn't go to air until February 5th, 1967, so at the time of writing, not quite!
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I apologise, in advance.

Diamond Lil

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #28 on: January 31, 2015, 07:52:14 AM »
  :D :D :D
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Offline Diane CBPFC

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Re: Stand-up comedy night #3
« Reply #29 on: February 08, 2015, 02:46:42 AM »
At least we made the front page of our local newspaper.  :)

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People will come from strange lands to hear me speak my words of wisdom. They will ask me the secret of life and I will tell them. Then maybe I'll finish off with a song. The Nomad
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