Coop Internet Banking

[Mince]

KATIE: Welcome to The Co-operative Bank Web Chat Service.  An adviser will be with you shortly.
KATIE: Hello, you are chatting to Katie.
ME: I am on the Home Page. I click on Current Account. And I see my transactions. How do you get back to the Home Page from there?
KATIE:  Can you see in the top right hand side of the page next to the log off option, it gives you the option for home
ME: Oh yes, that dark blue link on a dark blue background. I assume your web designers hate the colourblind. You have that whole page of real estate and you hide the home page with a dark link?



KATIE:  We are updating online banking at various points this year so you should find the service improved
ME: Second question. I click on Pay Bills. How do I get back to the list of my transactions?
KATIE:  In order to get back to your transactions from the pay bills section, you would need to click home and go into the account again at present.
ME: Third question. When I choose to pay a bill, I click on a link, and end up at a page that helpfully tells me which account NUMBER I am paying from and which account NUMBER I am paying to, but no names at all. It does not even tell me how much is in my account, almost daring me to go overdrawn. Naturally you want to just click BACK on the browser, and wonderfully this logs you out. Was this rubbish even tested?
KATIE:  I'm sorry that you have found the online service difficult to use. I will feedback the comments that you have made.

To be fair, Katie was extremely professional and helpful, and this is not all of the chat.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

To be fair, Katie was extremely professional and helpful, and this is not all of the chat.

No, you've probably missed the bit where she said, "F**k off!"

In a professional way of course.

[Mince]

Oh, so that's what she means by "father further".

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Plus, she's a busy lady, having to field picky phone calls while she designs and builds the bank's website. Give the woman a break. she has to count your bank notes too, and probably mop up at night.

[Mince]

I just wish I had been there at the programmers initial design committee.

PROGRAMMER: We're going to have a home page.

COOP BOSS: Good.

PROGRAMMER: And there's going to be a button to get back there.

COOP BOSS: Excellent.

PROGRAMMER: It's going to be blue, on a blue background.

COOP BOSS: Er . . .

PROGRAMMER: And very small.

COOP BOSS: Why small? Are you pushed for space on that web page?

PROGRAMMER: Not at all: we have loads, but we like small. And it's going to be the ONLY link that takes you to the home page.

COOP BOSS: Look, I'm not a programmer, but I might be able to offer some good advice here. How about having making it bigger, or having more than one link, maybe an icon that says home?

PROGRAMMER: [stares at him blankly, confused]

COOP BOSS: Okay, but I assume the browser back button takes to back to the home page?

PROGRAMMER: No, that logs you out.