Fragrances

[Mince]

I found this very small sample bottle of David Beckham's fragrance in my house (but don't ask how it got there, as I am clueless), and it's named after a preposition: Beyond. I think we should market a fragrance for Beau or Dennis. What do you think it ought to be called?

We'll also need some kind of selling angle similar to this drivel: David Beckham introduces his contemporary new fragrance for men: Beyond. Inspired by David’s life motto - ‘no matter how small you start, always dream big’, this modern masculine scent is an expression of his energy, determination and strength of mind. Encased in distinctively stylish, taupe packaging, Beyond opens with a mojito accord and features notes of cedarwood and leather to create a refined, daring scent for the modern man.

[Shufflebottom]

How about "DESERT WAFT".  There must be a market for that heady fragrance drifting from the fort as Dennis fills in the latrine on a Monday!

[Redundant]

We'll also need some kind of selling angle similar to this drivel: David Beckham introduces his contemporary new fragrance for men: Beyond. Inspired by David’s life motto - ‘no matter how small you start, always dream big’, this modern masculine scent is an expression of his energy, determination and strength of mind. Encased in distinctively stylish, taupe packaging, Beyond opens with a mojito accord and features notes of cedarwood and leather to create a refined, daring scent for the modern man.

That may well be the first time the written word has actually made me feel like vomiting.  Seriously, if I was ever looking for a reason why humanity deserved to be wiped off the face of the earth, it would be to kill off all marketing, copywriting...   There's never a threatening comet when you need one.

[Mince]

How about "DESERT WAFT".

Nice one. We ought to have a competition just so we can get Roger to judge it. My entry is ARMPIT GLORY.

Oh, and welcome to the board, Shufflebottom.

[Roger Kettle]

Eau de Beau.

[Mince]

DEBONAIR by MAD PIERRE.

I'm sure Pierre would market it violently.

And he'd probably later rename it UNFAIR or DESPAIR.

[Sandy Buttcheeks]

MENACE by DENNIS.

The scent o'mental. The the odour of ardour. MENACE by DENNIS guarantees you women from Venice.

I'd buy it!

[Diane CBPFC]

Oh! Scratch and Sniff cartoon strips. I can imagine the camel dung now.