This next joke is set in the Scottish Highlands, so if you hate the joke you can at least admire the scenery. It's a very funny joke I picked up cheap at the local jumble sale last Friday. In fact the joke is priceless: I had it valued on the antiques roadshow, and they told me it's early sixteenth century and possibly one of a pair. In fact with this joke I am pushing back the boundaries of comedy and reaching new, unexplored areas of comedy - I'm getting beyond a joke. It's about a woman who is shy (with coconuts to match). No, it's not. It's about a man who had seventeen children and was very short of cash - he was very short of breath too, as a matter of fact. He never took the dog for a walk - he just sat in his chair and showed it travel brochures. Anyway, the man was broke. His neighbour had an extension (which we won't dwell on). He once got a job as a mime artist, but one day he was attacked and strangled by the invisible man, and everyone just watched and clapped. And every year his honeymoon was re-enacted by the Sealed Knot Society. His town had not been modernised like others: there were still horse-drawn ambulances, added to which they were not even good drawings. The town was so polluted that if you threw a stone in the air it stayed there.
Sorry, I just got carried away.
