My Impending Knighthood.

[Roger Kettle]

I'm guessing that it's only a matter of time before I'm offered a knighthood for services to cartooning and all-round stupidity. I'm not a hundred per cent sure of the protocol involved but I think you get to choose your own title. I think I'll go for Sir Roger of Beaufort (Beau...fort...geddit?). Then I started wondering about the rest of you....
Sir Mincealot.
Minister of Vulture.
Lord Tarquin of Rumbling Femurs.

And...er...that's when I gave up and went to bed.

[Diane CBPFC]

Master of Peeps; Order of the Garters. (we all saw them with those short skirts).

[Roger Kettle]

Excellent!

[The Peepmaster]

So many great competitions going on all at the same time. I'm desperate to think up a witty one for this, Roger.

How about Mince - Chief Twat.

[Mince]

So many great competitions going on all at the same time. I'm desperate to think up a witty one for this, Roger.

How about Mince - Chief Twat.

So that'll put me above you?

[The Peepmaster]

Head Dick was my other option, but you know how I get words in the wrong order.

[The Peepmaster]

I just realised - neither of those titles involve fish.

[Mince]

Head Dick was my other option, but you know how I get words in the wrong order.

You actually chose the title Head Dick for yourself?

[Malc]

I think it has to be a title that has some kind of connection with you. I believe Harold Wilson chose Baron Wilson of Rievaulx. Rievaulx is a small town in Yorkshire, where Wilson was born. Nearby stands the famous early Cistercian Rievaulx Abbey.

I suppose Roger's equivalent would be Baron Kettle of Arbroath. The connection with the famous Arbroath Smokie means he would inevitably be known as Lord Kettle o' Fish.

[Max]

Hmmm Lord Kettle of fish, that's different.

[Malc]

...another, entirely.

[The Peepmaster]

Mince could be a Prince. Prince Mince has a certain ring to it.

[Mince]

Mince could be a Prince. Prince Mince has a certain ring to it.

Could be . . . ?