A Horace Joke I've Rejected.

[Roger Kettle]

Despite the fact that I've always worked for the tabloid press, I'd like to think that I've never strayed TOO far over what is acceptable to the average reader. I agree that, as far as the Daily Star is concerned, this would be pretty difficult. Anyway, there's a gag for my Horace strip that's been bouncing around my head for years which I can't bring myself to use. The Medicine Man character is making a potion and saying something like "Eye of toad, liver of newt and knob of butter". Having accepted that I'll never use this professionally, I'm giving myself closure by mentioning it here. Forgive me.

[Malc]

You just wanted to say "knob" on the forum, didn't you?

You could just write "pat of butter", that would work.

[The Peepmaster]

knob of butter

I suspect he was referring to a ram's penis, Malc. (Sorry, ladies).

[The Peepmaster]

Seriously though, Roger, you should go with it. It's dead funny, and exactly your style. A down-to-earth normal every-day ingredient as a contrast to the first two items. The fact it has a subtle innuendo is just a bonus, and is solely in the eye of the reader. I think it's inspired. Publish it

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

What Peepsie said. I laughed out loud. 

[Diane CBPFC]

Hi Roger - I have a book of North American Folk Healing - it is more to do with herbs than ingrediants you would expect to see in a witch's coldron.

But other than that I like the gag.

[Malc]

I have a book of North American Folk Healing

I instinctively knew that.

[Diane CBPFC]

Oh, stick some pipsissewa on it!   

[Vulture]

You just wanted to say "knob" on the forum, didn't you?

You could just write "pat of butter", that would work.

Roger, ignore this school-boy humour. A 'pat of butter' would not be big enough in a recipe that included an eye of newt and liver of toad; you wouldn't get the desired flavour.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

It's so frustrating, but I was raised far too well by my dear mother to type any of the responses that first sprang to my mind after reading Vulture's last remark. I'll leave it to Peepsie.

[Vulture]

It's so frustrating, but I was raised far too well by my dear mother to type any of the responses that first sprang to my mind after reading Vulture's last remark. I'll leave it to Peepsie.

OK, sunshine - out with it. I couldn't see any inuendo in wot I writted - tell me!

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

No - you will not get me to say that only a decent sized knob will satisfy your needs. No way! 

[Vulture]

No - you will not get me to say that only a decent sized knob will satisfy your needs. No way! 

I thought you were old enough to know that it's not the size, it's what you do with it!

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I said "decent", not indecent.

[Malc]

it's not the size, it's what you do with it

I tried that one in my audition for the Cosmo centrefold (I was much younger then). I was shuffled out of there very quickly, I can tell you.

I was shuffling because they wouldn't even let me get my pants back up.