Roger, it was a horrible game of football to watch

[Colin]

but I could watch this all night.



Sorry.

[The Peepmaster]

That was a great goal by the keeper.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Sorry.

Sure y'are!

[Roger Kettle]

I still feel depressed.
I'm off to look for the cats again.

[The Peepmaster]

I still feel depressed.
I'm off to look for the cats again.

If you're after the cat, make sure you keep your head down when you're kicking it, and don't slice the shot.

[Roger Kettle]

The cats are rather resigned to all this now. They have their own radio and, when they hear a negative United result, head for the garden and bend over.

[The Peepmaster]

Would it help if I said "It's only a game", Roger?

Anyway - look at the positives. This could be a whole new theme for Andy Capp strips. I haven't ever seen him following the fortunes of a team on the radio. Think of the mileage you might get from that.

[Mince]

The cats are rather resigned to all this now. They have their own radio and, when they hear a negative United result, head for the garden and bend over.

They might as well just head for the garden as soon as they know Dundee United are playing.

[The Peepmaster]

Anagram...

Dundee United: Nut due, indeed!

Sure enough, Mince turns up...