Super Lupercalia

[Tom]

Bah Humbug Valentines.
I?m not keen on this over-commercialised greeting card, balloon manufacturer and florist co-conspiracy called St Valentine?s Day, so I thought I would delve into history to see what I could find which would explain what makes February 14th so special.

I?ve found that way back in the third century, there were two St Valentines, who were both unfortunately beaten and beheaded in Rome (not at the same time, I must add). It was determined that these two saints should be celebrated, to replace an ancient pagan holiday called Lupercalia. (I think I prefer the term ?Have a Super Lupercalia? to ?happy valentines,? but who am I?)

This rather put me off my search, but I then found this:

A vegetarian valentine rhyme ? author unknown

Cabbage always has a heart;
Green beans string along.
You're such a Tomato,
Will you Peas to me belong?
You've been the Apple of my eye,
You know how much I care;
So Lettuce get together,
We'd make a perfect Pear.
Now, something's sure to Turnip,
To prove you can't be Beet;
So, if you Carrot all for me
Let's let our tulips meet.
Don't Squash my hopes and dreams now,
Bee my Honey, dear;
Or tears will fill Potato's eyes,
While Sweet Corn lends an ear.
I'll Cauliflower shop and say
Your dreams are Parsley mine.
I'll work and share my Celery,
So be my Valentine.

Hope you enjoy your Valentine?s Day. 

[Diane CBPFC]

Lupercalia can't have been much of a holdiay, coming as it did before the invention of chocolate pecan clusters.

[Malc]

Lupercalia is a MUCH better name for a holiday than, well...any other.

It's got a bit of "Supercalifragilistic" in it, it's got "Bacchanalia" in it,  it's got "loopy" in it, it lends itself to the Super Luper tag, it's a marketer's dream!

I reckon Cirque Du Soleil should name their next show Lupercalia.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

I thought it was a song by Abba.

[Malc]

You're thinking of "Fernando".

[The Peepmaster]

Ha ha! You just reminded me that when I was younger I would sing "Can you smell my bum, Fernando?", instead of the proper words. We all go through that phase, don't we?

Goodness knows how old I would have been.

[Malc]

Probably your early thirties.

[The Peepmaster]

Come to think of it, you're pretty close there, Malc.