Getting to know you.

[Diane CBPFC]

Diamond Lil - I kinda read Jean de Florette - I read the English subtitles on the French movie anyway. 

[Fyodor]

What is your real first name? Ronnie

Where do you live, where were you born? Monifieth, near Dundee. Edinburgh.

What do you do to earn a living? Do you like what you do? Live off benefits.
Yes.

What do you do to fulfill the artistic side of yourself? Write sometimes.

What do you do to keep fit? Hardly anything. Golf, if that counts.

Favorite junk food? Custard Doughnuts.
What do you do to make the world better? Die.

What books are currently on your nightstand? Grey Souls by Phillipe Claudel (the best book ever written).

Do you have a spouse, children, dogs, cats etc in your life? No.

Describe what, to you, would be a perfect weekend? Finnan Haddock in milk with poached egg for breakfast. Round of golf with chum chaps. Bacon and Cheese wrap and coffee. Watch United destroy Dundee 7 - 0. A few rum and cokes, then theatre for Shakespeare's The Winter's Tale. Bus home. Crispy pancake roll. Bed. That's enough for me.

And now for the serious stuff?

Who is your favourtie Beau Peep character? The Nomad

Which BP character are you most like? The Nomad

How many of the 20 Beau Peep books have you read? Most

Which is your favourite BP book? Don't know.

Have you met Roger or Andrew in real life? Yup.

[Roger Kettle]

Fyodor, I'd just like to point out that you have a son.(Okay, maybe he's not quite in the "children" category.)
And 7-0 United against Dundee in a local derby? This is YOUR fantasy! What's wrong with double figures?

[Fyodor]

Thanks oh great one. You're right, of course. It must have been the spouse bit that stopped me in my tracks.

[Elizabeth]

What is your real first name?
Elizabeth

Where do you live, where were you born?
In Fife - almost within shouting distance of Roger HI ROG! I was born in Inverness.

What do you do to earn a living? Do you like what you do?
Dyslexia Specialist - screening, diagnosing, assessing needs, liaison with academic staff etc... I like it a lot.

What do you do to fulfill the artistic side of yourself?
make curtains?

What do you do to keep fit?
Walk (sometimes uphill) belly dance, ballroom dance

Favorite junk food?
black pudding (is that junk?)

What do you do to make the world better?
Smile.

What books are currently on your nightstand?
Harvesting the Heart, by Jodi Picoult, Bill Bryson's autobiography,

Do you have a spouse, children, dogs, cats etc in your life?
Spouse, 1 son (36) 1 daughter (15). Have had, in the past, budgies, fish, a rabbit.

Describe what, to you, would be a perfect weekend?

Climb a wee hill, have my two favourite chums to lunch and to play cards. See my son and his girlfriend. Not argue with my daughter...

And now for the serious stuff?

Who is your favourtie Beau Peep character?

Beau Peep

Which BP character are you most like?
Egon

How many of the 20 Beau Peep books have you read?
Quite a lot

Which is your favourite BP book?
I like them all

Have you met Roger or Andrew in real life?
I first met Roger when he was 10 going on 25. (I was 16) He taught me to play darts and introduced me to Mad Magazine. I met Andrew quite a few years later.

[Roger Kettle]

Even at ten, I knew how to treat the ladies----a game of darts and a flick through Mad magazine.

[The Peepmaster]

Even at ten, I knew how to treat the ladies----a game of darts and a flick through Mad magazine.

Most birds aren't all that good at darts, Roger. I usually just let them watch when I'm playing.

[Roger Kettle]

Nige, the shady figure in the background, following you around everywhere, is me. I'm getting material for Andy Capp strips. Thank you.

[The Peepmaster]

Most of the bars on this island are very male dominated, Roger. It's not unusual to find a pub with only men in it. It's hardly surprising therefore that darts isn't a great skill with the fairer sex, unless they have a board in the kitchen that is, which is highly unlikely.
The first year I was here I joined a darts team in Port Bannatyne. There was one team in the league that was women only. They finished bottom of the league, (although I have to say a couple of them were quite tidy).

[Roger Kettle]

I love you.

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

This ought to be interesting....

[The Peepmaster]

To be honest, I hate it when bars are mainly blokes. Saturdays are the best nights when there's quite a lot of talent about, (plus older women too). Going to pubs doesn't seem to be a thing that appeals to women here, or maybe they're just not allowed. There's plenty that let their hair down at weekends though, and the frequent hen-nights are something to behold. They're often quite classy affairs and women sometimes book the open-top bus to ferry them round the pubs until they're wrecked (the women, not the buses). You can always tell them cos they drink through penis-shaped straws and sometimes have phallic objects strapped to their heads. You get to snog the bride if you put some cash in the bucket. The bucket's just a fund to allow them to keep drinking.
My current bird isn't indigenous to the country, let alone the island, and before moving here was in Dubai for a few years so she likes to get out and enjoy herself. I'm a godsend to her as I don't mind her coming out with me at night and she had been getting well fed up with staying in at nights. She's a bit of a trophy too as she's 14 years younger, but she adores me, which is something I keep reminding myself. I don't know if she's ever played darts - it hasn't come up in conversation yet.

[Roger Kettle]

I still love you.