I'm Back (Cue appropriate music).

[Roger Kettle]

Well, first of all, can I just say how sorry I was to hear about your toilet seat, Vulch. That must have been hard for you.
Anyway, I had just the kind of break that I wanted. I have a genuine affection for The Algarve and it all went very smoothly. My wife, son, sister (Diamond Lil) and I relaxed at a lovely villa, swam in the pool and did very little else that required either energy or a brain. We had some great meals along the way like fish soup, suckling pig and, of course, chicken piri-piri. Actually, the first course of olives and bread are enough to make me purr quietly as I sip my wine. Late at night, I would enjoy a nightcap on the terrace and watch the moon reflecting on the Atlantic. It was almost deathly quiet, with only the distant sound of breakers to interrupt the silence. Aaaaaah.
Now what can I have Beau doing tomorrow?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Now what can I have Beau doing tomorrow?

Make him have the rest of the fort green with envy, as he waxes lyrically and nostalgically about annual trips to Bridlington-On-Sea. That should stir up some conflict.

Glad you had such a great time while the rest of us have been struggling with toilet seats and the likes. 

[Tom]

Good to see you back, Roger, and also to read you have had a good time.

Speaking of time, hasn't it passed quickly...?

[Roger Kettle]

It's weird, Tom. The whole week passed in about ten minutes. One of the things I enjoyed most was sitting in the local sports bar, having a beer with my son. He's nineteen and, as I write, is heading off for a fortnight's holiday with his pals in Greece---it's a long story and involved him going straight from Edinburgh, where we landed, to Glasgow to catch his flight this evening. I was just pleased that he was willing to go to such lengths to join us old folks. One of my regrets in life is that I never had the chance to sit and have a beer with my father. I was eighteen when he died and it was just one of those things that we never got round to. Without being TOO maudlin, the simple act of having a beer with my son is something I kind of place a lot of importance on.
Anyway, I'm sitting here tonight, looking over the River Tay rather than the Atlantic Ocean and, you know, that's just fine.

[Vulture]

It's good to have you back, Roger. 

[Malc]

Here in Australia it's like sitting by a beach on the Algarve all the time. Did I mention that before?

[Tarquin Thunderthighs lll]

Without being TOO maudlin, the simple act of having a beer with my son is something I kind of place a lot of importance on.

Something I can no longer do on either side of that equation, Roger. Enjoy every drop. 

[Diane CBPFC]

Welcome back Roger - I would say more but my son just told me to "hurry up" as he wants to get online.

[The Peepmaster]

.

[Vulture]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PbmB9ztRAFs&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PbmB9ztRAFs&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>.

Peeps, is there something you want to tell us? 

[The Peepmaster]

Yes - you've f*%@ed up the reply you just made.

[Joan]

Welcome back, Roger. I'll say more tomorrow - have to go to bed, going walking tomorrow - did an 11km hike yesterday.  Could do with a week off myself!

[The Peepmaster]

I really don't know why you only take a week off, Roger. I've said this before, but, with the work you do, and the scope of the internet, I'd be living and working out there for 6 months a year! You just need to become competent in using a computer, and have an internet connection - it's as simple as that.

[Mince]

it's as simple as that.

Surely not as simple as Roger.

[Roger Kettle]

Aaaah! My first insult from Mince since I got back. It's nice to be home.